Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Undoubtedly, with time progressing, our society has

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

completetive

Correct your spelling

competitive

and mature

education

Use synonyms

system nowadays.

Whereas

Linking Words

some people believe

teenager

Fix the agreement mistake

teenagers

show examples

owght

Correct your spelling

ought

right

to receive scholarships until 18 years old, others look upon

this

Linking Words

as something unnecessary. As for my perspective, I am in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

of the former, and the reasons will be thoroughly elaborated on as follows. All universities and most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

positions require high

school

Use synonyms

degrees in

this

Linking Words

modern era,

this

Linking Words

is a vital factor for teenagers to pursue their future dreams not only

careers

Change preposition

in careers

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

further

Change preposition

in further

show examples

educations

Fix the agreement mistake

education

show examples

. To be more specific, students cannot

acheive

Correct your spelling

achieve

their goals of jobs or degrees unless they accomplish their high

school

Use synonyms

education

Use synonyms

. Take

myself

Change the pronoun

show examples

as an example. I aimed to study

science

Correct article usage

the science

show examples

department in

university

Add an article

the university

show examples

when I was 19 years old, and I obtained the offer via my high

school

Use synonyms

diploma, the crucial cause helped me access

Change preposition

apply

show examples

my dream closer.

Secondly

Linking Words

full time

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

education

Use synonyms

can mitigate

potential

Correct article usage

the potential

show examples

crime rate, since people have enough knowledge and skills to live in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society, they do not need to

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

to survive.

That is

Linking Words

, when individuals have enough capabilities to work, they would not tend to do something wrong to get

punish

Wrong verb form

punished

show examples

fine

Wrong verb form

fined

show examples

According to

Linking Words

the essay from National Taiwan University, 80%

crimers

Change preposition

of crimers

show examples

do not

received

Change the verb form

receive

show examples

Correct article usage

a full

show examples

full time

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

education

Use synonyms

until

18-year-old

Correct your spelling

they 18 years old

due to

Linking Words

finantial

Correct your spelling

financial

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

another reason

Fix the agreement mistake

other reasons

show examples

, so they cannot

recognized

Wrong verb form

recognise

show examples

the action should

Verb problem

take

show examples

or not. In conclusion, Based on the aforementioned, students should be offered complete

education

Use synonyms

until they graduate from high

school

Use synonyms

because they can pursue their future dreams,

also

Linking Words

, authorities can reduce

potential

Add an article

the potential

show examples

crime rate.

ruby911229Wed Mar 05 2025

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Task Achievement

Consider providing a clearer thesis statement in your introduction to outline your main argument more specifically.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve the logical flow between your paragraphs by using more linking phrases and ensuring that each point is clearly connected to your main argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure to proofread for spelling mistakes and grammatical errors to enhance the clarity of your ideas (e.g., "completetive" should be "competitive", and "owght" should be "ought").

Task Achievement

You present a clear stance in favor of mandatory education, which is a good basis for your argument.

Task Achievement

Your examples are relevant and relate well to your main points, particularly the personal example of studying science.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

fundamental cornerstone
literacy and numeracy
social inequalities
foundation of knowledge
social mobility
informed and engaged citizenry
democratic processes
youth crime rates
productive activities
vocational training
workforce
stifling individual talent
economic contribution
stress and mental health issues
unsuitable educational system
one-size-fits-all approach
diverse talents
career paths
formal academic education
financial strains
low-income countries
improving quality of education

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Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

The percentage of overweight children in western societies has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the possible causes and effects of this disturbing trend and offer solution.

Computers and A.I technology are increasingly being used for online education Can artificial intelligence enhance the learing experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think that paying tax is their only duty, while others believe that we have more responsibilities toward society. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.