Some people believe that schools should focus more on teaching practical skills such as financial management and cooking, while others argue that traditional subjects like mathematics and literature are more important.

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In today’s rapidly
change
Change the form of the verb
changing
show examples
world, the debate over whether
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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should acquire daily
skills
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as financial management and cooking or they should be more
focus
Replace the word
focused
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on math and science.
In
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This
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this
Linking Words
passage will examine both
perspective
Change to a plural noun
perspectives
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. Learning practical
skills
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
has
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become necessary ,especially when
married
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marriage
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is not as common as before. In the past, husbands used to get a job and
wife
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wives
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to clean and look after
for
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apply
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their
baby
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babies
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. Since marriage is no longer common these days. It means that
there’re
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there’s
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no longer
partner
Correct article usage
a partner
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to take care of them.
More Over
Correct your spelling
Moreover
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, with increasing pollution
these day
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this day
these days
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, people not only have to take care of daily tasks but
also
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worrying
Wrong verb form
worry
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about
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
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health. Life will be harder to manage without
these kind
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this kind
these kinds
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of
skills
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, traditional
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
are still important too. They provide you
for
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with
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some complex tasks
such
Linking Words
as scientific discovery or
design
Correct article usage
the design
show examples
a
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of a
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large building. In conclusion, both practical
skills
Use synonyms
and traditional subjects are essential. Schools should teach both, but the emphasis on each should depend on individual needs and career goals.

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language
Revise for grammar and word choice, e.g., "In today's rapidly changing world...", and correct phrases like 'they should be more focus' to 'they should focus more on'.
structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it with specific examples or explanations. Improve transitions between points to enhance flow.
content
Expand on the examples provided for both practical skills and traditional subjects. For instance, give specific situations where these skills are applied in daily life.
content
The introduction presents the topic and acknowledges both sides of the argument, which sets a solid foundation.
structure
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main argument and emphasizes the importance of both practical skills and traditional subjects.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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