Traditionally, zoos are considered a sanctuary for endangered species, yet some of them are notorious for being cruel to animals. Do the advantages of zoos outweigh its disadvantages?
the same time there are some disadvantages like changing the
animals
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animal's
animals'
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happits
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habits
and some animals
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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depressed, on the other
half
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hand
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Use synonyms
zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
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con
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can
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help educate people about the beauty and important of the nature and the
wild life
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wildlife
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so they can help
maintianing
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maintaining
maintain
the
enfiroment
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environment
, in
general
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general,
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the
benefets
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benefits
of the
zoo
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is more than the disadvantages, and
i
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I
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recomend
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recommend
that
desining
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designing
the
zoo
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to
pe
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be
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friendly to animals.
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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each point you make is clearly linked to your argument. Use clear topic sentences and transitions between paragraphs to improve the overall flow of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For example, mention particular endangered species or specific educational programs that zoos offer to enhance your argument.
task achievement
You introduced the importance of zoos for endangered species and highlighted key ideas about education and environmental conservation.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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