IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

To what extent do the purported benefits of globalization outweigh its inherent drawbacks for developing nations, considering both economic interdependence and the potential erosion of cultural identity? Discuss, providing specific examples and acknowledging differing perspectives on the complex interplay between global integration and national sovereignty.

Globalization
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 has reshaped the economic and cultural landscapes of developing
nations
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. It fosters economic growth through trade and investment, as seen in China and Vietnam, where industrialization and foreign direct investment (FDI) have boosted GDP and employment.
However
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, economic interdependence
also
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 creates vulnerabilities,
such
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 as over-reliance on global supply chains and exploitative
labor
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labour
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 practices, as evidenced by Bangladesh’s garment industry. Culturally,
globalization
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 accelerates homogenization, often eroding local traditions. The dominance of Western media and consumer goods threatens indigenous cultures, as seen in India’s struggling handicraft sector and Africa’s diminishing storytelling traditions.
Moreover
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, economic policies dictated by international institutions like the IMF can compromise national sovereignty, forcing austerity measures that disproportionately affect the poor. Proponents argue that
globalization
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 enhances innovation and access to global markets, exemplified by Kenya’s mobile banking revolution. The United
Nations
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 promotes it as a tool for sustainable development.
However
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, critics highlight economic inequalities, where developing
nations
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 remain suppliers of raw materials
while
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 developed
nations
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 control high-value industries. Environmental concerns,
such
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 as deforestation in the Amazon,
further
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 complicate the benefits of
globalization
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.
While
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globalization
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 offers opportunities for economic growth, its drawbacks—cultural erosion, economic dependency, and sovereignty risks—cannot be ignored. A balanced approach is necessary, allowing developing
nations
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 to leverage economic benefits
while
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 preserving cultural identity and ensuring equitable progress through robust policies and international cooperation.

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task achievement
Consider providing a more detailed introduction that outlines the key arguments you will discuss in the essay. This helps to set the stage for your readers.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports a specific point, and use clear topic sentences to indicate what each paragraph will address.
coherence cohesion
In your conclusion, reiterate the main points discussed in your essay and provide a final thought or implication regarding globalization's impact on developing nations for a stronger ending.
task achievement
You effectively incorporated specific examples, such as China, Vietnam, and Kenya, to substantiate your arguments, which enriches your essay.
task achievement
The use of contrasting perspectives on globalization adds depth to your discussion, showcasing your understanding of the complexity of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a clear and logical progression of ideas, making it easy for readers to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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