IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiements. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples form your knowledge and experience.

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There are common beliefs
such
Linking Words
carrying
Change preposition
as carrying
show examples
medical
Change preposition
out medical
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 research on living
being
Replace the word
beings
show examples
 like animals is not acceptable and
such
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a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
horrible procedures must be restricted by official rules. But another group of people presume that
this
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 kind of
experiments
Fix the agreement mistake
experiment
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are
Change the verb form
is
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inevitable in order to achieve groundbreaking breakthroughs.
Although
Linking Words
 it may sound cruel for the greater good we must sacrifice
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
 portion of animals. On the one hand, doing experiments on animals is our only viable option. Since we cannot run research on
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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, mammals from
animal
Correct article usage
the animal
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 kingdom come in very handy.
For instance
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, as their anatomic features
really
Add a missing verb
are really
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 close to humans, primates often very important
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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 for testing new vaccines before it streamlined globally.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, humans should take care of any violation and cruelty against all creatures that
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
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 on earth. As
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 only
concious
Correct your spelling
conscious
 creature in the world humans will be always responsible for looking after the ecosystem and all the living
being
Replace the word
beings
show examples
 on it. It is not solely for animal
wellfare
Correct your spelling
welfare
, it is
also
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 will impact our devotion to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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mother nature.
For example
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, around
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
protector
Fix the agreement mistake
protectors
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 of wild creatures protesting against the
overpoaching
Correct your spelling
overarching
over poaching
 and
habital
Correct your spelling
habitual
habitat
 destructure
Linking Words
this
Capitalize word
This
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 in turn
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to better saving the nature. In conclusion, at
the
Correct article usage
apply
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first glance experimenting on living beings may seem
torturing
Change the verb form
to torture
show examples
,
we
Correct word choice
but we
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 must always take
in to
Correct your spelling
into
show examples
 account
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
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 great benefits Correct the article-noun agreement a great
benefitgreat
Correct your spelling
benefit great
 benefits The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun benefits in
this
Linking Words
 sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular. show examples it will
make
Verb problem
contribute
show examples
 to our future
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
.

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structure
The introduction could be more clearly structured to outline the main points of your argument and introduce the topic more effectively.
ideas
Some arguments need supporting evidence or additional examples to enhance the strength of your claims, particularly in discussing the significance of animal testing.
grammar
Ensure that sentences are grammatically correct and free of awkward phrasing, as this will improve the overall fluency of your essay.
balance
You presented both sides of the argument, which is a good approach to discussing a controversial topic.
synthesis
Your conclusion attempts to summarize your ideas, which is an essential part of an essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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