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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, as a part of education process, students work at a company for a short period of time without pay. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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In recent times, most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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educational institutions
are
Verb problem
have
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implementing
Wrong verb form
implemented
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 compulsory internship
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period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
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 for
students
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 without pay to complete their education. Training in
this
Linking Words
 company with supervision before joining the regular job
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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students
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 to gain experience and
skills
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 about the work.
In contrast
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, some
companies
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 are exploiting
students
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 with higher workloads. In my opinion,
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
 of unpaid internships outweigh the advantages. On the positive side,
mandatory
Correct article usage
a mandatory
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 training
period
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 enhances vocational
skills
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 and helps to gain experience in that particular role.
For example
Linking Words
, in India MBBS
students
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 should have to complete one year of internship in different hospitals in order to attain
degree
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a degree
the degree
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.
As a result
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,
students
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 learn practical
skills
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such
Linking Words
 as assessment of various diseases and treatment techniques.
Moreover
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, superior doctors share their knowledge and experience
to
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with
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 juniors which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 valuable for their future. Even though they are unpaid for their work,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can be compensated
by
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for
show examples
life
Correct article usage
the life
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skills
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 they learnt. On the negative side, some
companies
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 are misusing the internship
period
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 by
alloting
Correct your spelling
allowing
allocating
 high workloads to the
students
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, undergraduate engineering
students
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 doing unpaid training programs in Multinational
companies
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 are exploited by their superiors
with
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by
show examples
 giving
more
Correct pronoun usage
them more
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 work and abusing
with
Correct pronoun usage
them with
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 unpleasant words.
As a result
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, some poor
students
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 are struggling to survive
this
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 training
period
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 financially and
affected
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are affected
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 mentally.
Moreover
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,
companies
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 are not providing proper care and respect to the trainees. In conclusion, even though unpaid internships foster learning hands-on techniques and communication
skills
Use synonyms
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
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 to stress because of
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 workloads
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
students
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.
Moreover
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, some of them are not properly treated by their superiors. So, in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your thesis statement clearly presents a balanced view, mentioning both advantages and disadvantages, even if you ultimately lean towards one side.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use more transitions to link paragraphs and ideas smoothly, enhancing coherence between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples or data to support your arguments, particularly in the negative side of unpaid internships.
Task Achievement
Clear argument stating the position that disadvantages outweigh advantages, which is well-supported throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Strong examples provided, particularly in the discussion of MBBS internships, showcasing a good understanding of the benefits of internships.
Coherence and Cohesion
Effective use of paragraphs to separate ideas, making it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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