IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that in the future, environmental problems will mean that we are unable to live on this planet. In order to survive, the human species will need to find another planet that can support life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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In the modern world, some people think that in the near future, environmental issues will indicate that we are unable to live on the
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
planet
Use synonyms
 for many reasons.
in other words
Linking Words
, the human species will
require
Wrong verb form
be required
show examples
 to search
another
Change preposition
for another
show examples
planet
Use synonyms
 that can support
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
 life.
this
Linking Words
 essay totally disagrees with that
nition
Correct your spelling
notion
nation
. and we will discuss more details about it. on the one hand, many nations start to believe that we will be living
in
Change preposition
apply
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outside our
planet
Use synonyms
 in the next era. because
of
Change preposition
apply
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the pollution percentage became out of control. specifically
on
Change preposition
in
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 the natural regions
such
Linking Words
 as oceans, rivers and forests.
Linking Words
as
Capitalize word
As
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 a result,
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon will affect numerous energy sources.
consequently
Linking Words
, the idea to
finds
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 another plant to live in is now a common suggestion.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, it is possible to apply
this
Linking Words
 concept currently without several risks. because there are a lot of statistics that indicate
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
specific conditions to travel to another
planet
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
however
Capitalize word
However
show examples
, March is the most
planet
Use synonyms
 which has the best conditions to hold the
humanaity
Correct your spelling
humanity
 life.
also
Linking Words
, it is stable to
starting
Wrong verb form
start
show examples
 many facilities there
such
Linking Words
 as farming and exploring the natural energy sources. provided statistics by Harvard University in 2012 show the analogy percentage between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Mars and Earth in 100 sectors. the result was 60% in different categories.
moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 figure will increase in the future
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 90%.
to sum up
Linking Words
, the converting process of living on another
planet
Use synonyms
 is not quick but, there are abilities that allow it in the future. it
require
Change the verb form
requires
show examples
 more
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 to reach
this
Linking Words
 goal. in my opinion. is not my type of ideas

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your thesis in the introduction. It's important to explicitly state your position on the topic.
coherence
Use topic sentences to introduce each paragraph and ensure there is clear development of ideas within each paragraph.
coherence
Pay attention to grammatical errors and sentence structure, which can affect clarity. Proofreading can help with this.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear disagreement with the idea of needing to find another planet, which is a good starting point.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental degradation
  • sustainable development
  • renewable energy
  • carbon footprint
  • biodiversity loss
  • climate change
  • greenhouse gases
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • habitable planets
  • space colonization
  • terraforming
  • ethical dilemmas
  • resource allocation
  • technological advancements
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