IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that instead of preventing climate change we need to find a way to live with it to what extent do you agree or disagree with this view.

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it is argued that we do not need to prevent
climate
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change
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 and we need to accept it and live with it .
However
Linking Words
,in my opinion, I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement for several reasons .
To begin
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 with, the idea of finding a way to live with
climate
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change
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 can
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
 many serious problems .
First
Add a comma
First,
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 it might
threats
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threaten
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people
Change noun form
people's
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live
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lives
show examples
 by bringing diseases. Studies have shown that with
climate
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change
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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illnesses spread quickly among individuals , not only
spread
Wrong verb form
spreading
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 diseases but
also
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,
create
Wrong verb form
creating
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 a new kind of disease . Second ,
climate
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change
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 leads to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of food and water because of the altar temperature .
For example
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 , in some
part
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parts
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 of
Africa
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Africa,
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 there are severe
shortage
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shortages
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 of water supply
due to
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 rise the
temperature
Change preposition
in temperature
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 .
Moreover
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, the environment might be damaged by
climate
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change
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 as it negatively
affecte
Correct your spelling
affected
affects
affect
 the ecosystem.
Therefore
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 animals will
sffure
Correct your spelling
survive
as well as
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plants
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to survive
Verb problem
apply
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.
For instance
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, with
climate
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change
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 comes natural
disaster
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disasters
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, like
forestfire
Correct your spelling
forest fire
forest fires
,
flood
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floods
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, and
drought
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droughts
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, which in turn
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
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 to harm
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
animals
Change noun form
animal's
animals'
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 lives in terms of resources and shelter .
In
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addition
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addition,
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 the
plants
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 may die
due to
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 the drought or flood, which
disrupt
Correct subject-verb agreement
disrupts
show examples
 the process of sustaining life.
as
Capitalize word
As
show examples
Correct article usage
a resulte
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resulte
Correct your spelling
result
 some
plants
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 will be difficult to find and people will not be able to
benefits
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
 from a variety of
plants
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 .
To sum up
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 ,
climate
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change
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 has concerned all people around the world as it has
alots
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of risks,
hence
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 I believe that
try
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
 to find an effective way to solve
this
Linking Words
 issue essential to
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a healthy
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
.

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coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your ideas. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and supports your thesis clearly.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to back up your points. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your arguments.
language use
Ensure grammatical accuracy, especially in verb forms and subject-verb agreement, to make your ideas easier to understand.
task achievement
You have a clear stance on the topic, which is important for a persuasive essay.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively states your opinion, and you attempted to address different aspects of climate change.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • climate change
  • prevent
  • adaptation
  • mitigation
  • cope with
  • effects
  • shift
  • mindset
  • lifestyle
  • balance
  • invest
  • research
  • technology
  • crucial
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
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