IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Students should spend a period of time studying and living in a different country to learn language and culture. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that learning about new cultures is something enjoyable.
While
Linking Words
 it is
commonly
Correct article usage
a commonly
show examples
 held belief that
students
Use synonyms
 ought to spend a period of time learning new cultures and languages by living in a foreign country. There is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that
oposse
Correct your spelling
oppose
opposes
 it. In my opinion, I consider that
students
Use synonyms
 should learn more about other
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
 traditions.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 desiring and curiosity to discover new societies need motivation.
In other words
Linking Words
, moving to
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
 country for a
while
Linking Words
 is the biggest motivation for them.
In addition
Linking Words
, being in different environments will
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 them to learn more about its culture and traditions.
For example
Linking Words
, they need to deal with native people as
result
Add an article
a result
show examples
 they will learn new sentences. Another point to consider is youth at some phases search for independence and try to find their interests. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that living or studying in
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another country on their own will help them to be more independent and confident.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 development depends on how much knowledge they have.
For instance
Linking Words
, they can improve their skills since they
meeting
Wrong verb form
meet
show examples
 new people from all around the world they will probably share some information and experience.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 they can learn about various traditional stuff
such
Linking Words
 as their festivals and special occasions. In conclusion, despite people having different
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
 I tend to believe that cultures and traditions are vast and learning about
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 is truly crucial. We all need to
educate
Wrong verb form
be educated
show examples
 in a special environment where we can focus on
our selves
Correct your spelling
ourselves
show examples
. I think
this
Linking Words
 will
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 society.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure clarity in your introductions by clearly stating your position on the topic. Your opening sentence could connect better with your thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Try to use transitional phrases more effectively to enhance the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task response
Make sure to support your points with specific examples or explanations that directly link back to the thesis statement for stronger arguments.
task response
You addressed the topic by discussing both the benefits of living abroad and the potential for personal growth.
task response
Your use of personal insights, such as the motivation for students to explore new cultures, adds a personal touch to your essay.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • immersion
  • cultural exchange
  • global diversity
  • critical thinking
  • intercultural communication
  • resilience
  • adaptability
  • professional networks
  • language proficiency
  • educational systems
What to do next:
Look at other essays: