In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In these days and years, in different parts of the

world

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world,

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a large number of children have problems with their weight .

Although

Linking Words

technology can help us as

Use synonyms

society

Add an article

a society

show examples

, in these cases young people are using their phones to

game

Wrong verb form

games

show examples

instead

Linking Words

of doing

sports

Use synonyms

. Eventually,

this

Linking Words

creates

Change the article

show examples

obesity

Use synonyms

problem

Use synonyms

among

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

. Parents and governments

need

Add the particle

need to

show examples

make new rules for

this

Linking Words

situation

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show examples

avoid cellphones. The next paragraphs of

this

Linking Words

essay discuss

about

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apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

problem

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and explain what could be the possible solutions. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand, our

society

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has been having a

problem

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with diet, healthy food and

exercises

Fix the agreement mistake

exercise

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. Nowadays, we need to make

urgency

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urgent

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changes in new generations because a big percentage of children have

obesity

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. A reason for

this

Linking Words

problem

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sedentary

Correct article usage

the sedentary

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lifestyle among young people, they spend a lot of time playing

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show examples

their smartphones or watching videos on youtube, even,

this

Linking Words

part of

society

Use synonyms

Correct subject-verb agreement

does

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not eat healthy food and they prefer

fastfood

Correct your spelling

fast food

as hamburgers, fries and coke

while

Linking Words

them

Change the pronoun

they

show examples

are in

thei

Correct your spelling

their

the

cellphones. A good example is

Chilean

Correct article usage

the Chilean

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people. Recently, we read about

obesity

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in South America and Chile is the country with the biggest proportion of citizens with

obesity

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Furthemore

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Furthermore

, in

this

Linking Words

country we can see how students prefer to play online games at school

instead

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of playing football, basketball, dance or other

sports

Use synonyms

Obviouslly

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Obviously

, if

individual

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an individual

the individual

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does not do

sports

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Correct article usage

the

show examples

future is going to develop diseases.

On the other hand

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, parents and

goverments

Correct your spelling

governments

government

have the solution

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

problem

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, families must have rules

Change preposition

show examples

their homes

avoiding

Change the verb form

to avoid

show examples

the use of phones

among

Change preposition

show examples

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

. A possible solution for

partents

Correct your spelling

parents

is to buy

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

balls or games like chess and,

then

Linking Words

, spend hours sharing and playing with their sons.

Secondly

Linking Words

goverments

Correct your spelling

governments

government

could

creates

Change the verb form

create

show examples

laws about

sports

Use synonyms

and smartphones at school. If schools give more hours in healthy habits or

sports

Use synonyms

to our

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

this

Linking Words

could have a

postive

Correct your spelling

positive

impact

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, the solution to

this

Linking Words

problem

Use synonyms

is in our hands. Teachers, families and

goverments

Correct your spelling

governments

government

can make

the

Correct article usage

show examples

difference in the life of our young generations.

jorgejimenezalarconThu Mar 06 2025

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task achievement

Improve the introduction by clearly stating the topic and the reasons that will be discussed in the essay. Make sure to use a more formal tone.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the logical flow of your paragraphs.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and elaborate on them to support your points effectively.

coherence and cohesion

Work on grammar, spelling, and punctuation to improve the overall readability of your essay.

task achievement

Identified significant issues related to childhood obesity and proposed viable solutions.

coherence and cohesion

Clear structure with distinct paragraphs for different ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

346 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

childhood obesity
sedentary lifestyle
balanced diet
fast food
sugary snacks
physical activity
nutrition education
health campaigns
public health initiatives
government regulations
home-cooked meals
extracurricular sports
digital entertainment
sedentary behavior

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In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Your opinion

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is positive or negative development?

Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, the government likes to spend more money on the arts. Some people agree with this. However, others think government should spend more on health and education. Discuss both sides and giver your opinion.

It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful, but they are also likely to suffer from negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?