Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments sshould focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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People
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often feel that
government
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should focus on reducing environmental
pollution
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and housing problems to prevent
illness
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and disease.I strongly agree,
becuase
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because
as
the
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apply
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evironmental
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environmental
pollution
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decreases the
oyxgen
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oxygen
which we
breath
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breathe
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will be less contaminated
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as
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and as
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a result,
people
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will be less
porne
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prone
to
illness
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and disease.
In addition
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,
by
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apply
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provding
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providing
proper housing to the homeless will improve their standard of living which will impact their
overall
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health. The primary reason for
people
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getting
effected
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affected
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with
illness
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and disease is environmental
pollution
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.In order to prevent
pollution
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of
eco-system
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the eco-system
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government
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should take strict actions to reduce
pollution
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.
Such
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as imposing restrictions on factories which are located near residential areas
from
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to
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emit
harmfull
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harmful
gases into
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the eco-system
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eco-system
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ecosystem
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,
along with
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that they should improve the
quality
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of water supplied to the citizens.which leads to healthier air and water
quality
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as a result
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the
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apply
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it can decrease the incidence of respiratory
diseases
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and other health-related
issues
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.
For example
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,In new
zealand
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Zealand
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the
government
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never allowed
carbon emitting
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carbon-emitting
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industries to construct near
residental
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residential
areas
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that
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which
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is the reason why the citizens are less likely to
expereance
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experience
any kind of respiratory
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diseases
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disease
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.
Moreover
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,
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government
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the government
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focusing on providing better housing will improve the standard of living of
people
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.Housing problems often lead to poor living conditions that can result in stress and mental health
issues
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, impacting
overall
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well-being.
For instance
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, overcrowded living conditions can lead to the spread of
diseases
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and lower
quality
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of life. In conclusion, To save citizens from
illness
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and
diseases
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government
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should target
on
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apply
show examples
decreasing environmental
pollution
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and housing
issues
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. because reducing environmental
pollution
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leads to healthier air and water
quality
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, which can decrease the incidence of respiratory
diseases
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and other health-related
issues
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.
In addition
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, Adequate housing plays a significant role in health.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction presents a clear thesis statement outlining your position. This will guide your reader and strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. For example, instead of 'In addition', you might use 'Furthermore', or 'Moreover'.
coherence and cohesion
Work on varying vocabulary to avoid repetition. For example, you could replace 'improve' with 'enhance' or 'boost' in some instances.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical accuracy and ensure correct spelling to enhance the overall quality of your writing.
positive
You present a clear opinion early in your essay, which is essential for task achievement.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental pollution
  • housing problems
  • prevent illness
  • disease prevention
  • public health
  • respiratory diseases
  • health-related issues
  • living conditions
  • mental health
  • green spaces
  • clean energy
  • physical activity
  • overcrowded housing
  • quality of life
  • healthcare costs
  • cost-effective
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