Some people think that illegal Internet downloads are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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A number of people believe that unofficial

internet

Use synonyms

downloads

Use synonyms

are

having

Verb problem

taking

show examples

a toll on the

music

Use synonyms

industry.

While

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

others thought that it

is have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

slight

Add an article

a slight

the slight

show examples

effect or no effect at all on public figures. I will discuss both perspectives and

also

Linking Words

provide my opinion. On the one hand, illegal

downloads

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

artist's work

Change the verb form

are

show examples

affecting some

artists

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, some

artists

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relies

Change the verb form

rely

show examples

internet

Use synonyms

monetization of their work in order to survive

Change preposition

show examples

the

music

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industry. It is

also

Linking Words

considered easier to reach public awareness on online

platform

Fix the agreement mistake

platforms

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, small

artists

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are depending

Wrong verb form

depend

show examples

internet

Use synonyms

music

Use synonyms

platforms in order to gain public

exposures

Fix the agreement mistake

exposure

show examples

Thus

Linking Words

, restricted downloading on the

internet

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will highly

affecting

Wrong verb form

affect

show examples

some

artists

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as they will not be able to gain popularity and profits.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some people believe that illegal

downloads

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are

Verb problem

pose

show examples

posessing

Correct your spelling

small threat

for

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

artists

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, many

artists

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depends

Change the verb form

depend

show examples

on several marketing channels to introduce their art products.

In addition

Linking Words

, some top public figures

are

Verb problem

show examples

not really

depends

Correct subject-verb agreement

depend

show examples

on online

music

Use synonyms

platforms as their influence on public attention

are

Change the verb form

show examples

very impactful.

For instance

Linking Words

, Taylor

swift's

Capitalize word

Swift's

show examples

songs are downloaded

ilegally

Correct your spelling

illegally

by their fans but,

this

Linking Words

condition

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

never been an issue for her.

Therefore

Linking Words

, online illegal

downloads

Use synonyms

are not a threat at all for some top

artists

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, illegal

downloads

Use synonyms

are having slight impacts

for

Change preposition

show examples

some

artist

Fix the agreement mistake

artists

show examples

who already

gain

Wrong verb form

gained

show examples

wide public attention.

However

Linking Words

, some musicians or other performers are extremely affected by restricted

internet

Use synonyms

downloads

Use synonyms

l.cahyatriantiThu Mar 06 2025

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coherence and cohesion

The introduction could be clearer. Instead of 'While, others thought...' you could say 'On the other hand, others believe...' to maintain consistency in phrasing and improve clarity.

task achievement

Clarify the idea that small artists rely on internet platforms. You could say 'Small artists often depend on these platforms for visibility and financial support.' It strengthens your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to use the correct verb forms. For example, 'It is also considered easier to reach public awareness on online platform' should be 'It is also considered easier to reach public awareness on online platforms.' This will improve the accuracy and professionalism of your writing.

task achievement

The essay presents both sides of the argument fairly well, and you made an effort to give your opinion, which is important for task achievement.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

243 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

illegal downloads
financial losses
record labels
decrease in sales
perception
undermine
upcoming artists
pirated
exposure
concert attendance
merchandise sales
alternative revenue streams
live performances
sponsorships
streaming platforms
business models
loyal fan base
adapt
mitigate
thrive

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Some people think that illegal Internet downloads are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Word Count

Some people say the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on sustainable living and reducing environmental impact. What are the challenges of adopting a sustainable lifestyle? What practical actions can individuals take to contribute to sustainability?

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom.

It is the responsibility of schools to teach children good behaviour in addition to providing formal education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that elderly employees are more useful to a company, while others believe that young employees are better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.