IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that governments should invest more in public transportation instead of improving roads for private vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The importance of utilisation of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government expenditure
was
Verb problem
has
show examples
 always debatable,
has
Correct word choice
and has
show examples
 now become more controversial with many people claiming that the money should be spent on public transportation
while
Linking Words
 others believe it should be utilized on improving roads for private commuters. In my opinion, there should be an appropriate balance of the
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
 on both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
practices. Analyzing the statement and moving
further
Linking Words
, the first and foremost reason behind the investment
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 public transportation is that the technological advancements in public conveyance
such
Linking Words
 as
installments
Change the spelling
instalments
show examples
 of ventilation
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
, spacious seats,
modern
Correct word choice
and modern
show examples
 infrastructure,
contributes
Change the verb form
contribute
show examples
 to
attract
Wrong verb form
attracting
show examples
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
 number of people to commute on public vehicles over own one's, which ultimately reduces the pollution at a large pace. Another striking benefit with regard to
this
Linking Words
 is that
degradation
Correct article usage
the degradation
show examples
 of private vehicles on roads will
consequently
Linking Words
decreases
Change the verb form
decrease
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic congestion and make the services of public
buses
Use synonyms
 faster and
reliable
Correct quantifier usage
more reliable
show examples
. Moving
further
Linking Words
, it cannot be ignored
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
 on  manufacturing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more
buses
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
will
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 to save the time of commuters, without having
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
 wait. 
Conversely
Linking Words
, proving ahead the main reason stems from the fact that
to serve
Change the verb form
serving
show examples
 the unprivileged areas where routes of
buses
Use synonyms
 are inappropriate, hardens for the local people to travel through public transport.
Therefore
Linking Words
 they tend to travel by their own vehicles to escape from the problem of
long-wait
Correct your spelling
long
show examples
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 bus stations
,
Correct word choice
and, inaccessibility
show examples
inaccessibility
Correct article usage
the inaccessibility
show examples
 of
buses
Use synonyms
 with
high-ways
Correct your spelling
highways
show examples
,
go-stations
Correct word choice
and go-stations
show examples
. Ergo, the local government should prioritise these  areas to recover  roads for their convenience. It is pertinent to mention that road improvements, including, a widen- lanes,
fast-lane
Correct your spelling
fast lanes
show examples
, road- lights, and straight
surface
Fix the agreement mistake
surfaces
show examples
, etc. will not only
enhances
Change the verb form
enhance
show examples
 the beauty of the city but
also
Linking Words
lessens
Correct subject-verb agreement
lessen
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
accidents. Apart from
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
 mentioned above, many are in favour of spending
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 amount of money on public transportation.
To include
Fix the infinitive
Include
show examples
, after analyzing
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
show examples
 arguments one can reach the conclusion that
although
Linking Words
 public transport provides more benefits if money should be spent on it,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
there should be a
wise-strategy
Correct your spelling
wise strategy
show examples
 towards allocation of funds
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 both options

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Enhance your introduction by clearly stating your position on the topic, whether you agree or disagree and to what extent.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clarify your main points with more explicit transitions between paragraphs to improve flow and coherence.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments, particularly when discussing public transportation and road improvements.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a balanced view, recognizing the benefits of both public transportation and road improvements.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: