IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think it is important to wpend on roads and highways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or diagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 busy and fast-paced life, traffic on the
roads
Use synonyms
 has been increasingly common in recent years. It is believed by some individuals that
instead
Linking Words
 of spending on public transportation
such
Linking Words
 as trains and buses, it is essential to utilize money on
roads
Use synonyms
 and highways for physical well-being. If asked, I firmly agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion. My inclination is elaborated in the following paragraphs. There are some widespread reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 consider that renovation of the streets
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 pivotal. One of the most prominent is that having better physical health. To add to
this
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 may have a higher chance of carrying more potential health risks like low back pain and arthritis, if the
roads
Use synonyms
 are uneven.
For example
Linking Words
, an increasing number of
people
Use synonyms
 are suffering from back
ache
Fix the agreement mistake
aches
show examples
 because of the rough
roads
Use synonyms
 as they have to use
that
Change the determiner
that road
those roads
show examples
roads
Use synonyms
 daily
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reach to their work.
Therefore
Linking Words
, repetitive movements can cause arthritis
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
younger
Correct article usage
a younger
show examples
 age. In order to alleviate
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of problems,
authoritis
Correct your spelling
authorities
 should have to spend a
plenty
Correct word choice
large
show examples
 amount of money on
roads
Use synonyms
 and highways.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, another striking reason is that for
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
 the
traffic-jams
Correct your spelling
jams
show examples
. To elaborate
further
Linking Words
, it is true that because of
this
Linking Words
 working
urben
Correct your spelling
urban
 lifestyle, everyone is using their private vehicle, which can create traffic.
Hence
Linking Words
, if the authorities will pay more attention and spend
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 earnings on making wider
roads
Use synonyms
 will be fruitful for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society as it will decrease the amount of
congetion
Correct your spelling
congestion
.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, some may
counter arugue
Correct your spelling
counter-argue
 that
utilize
Wrong verb form
utilising
show examples
 money on
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 transport system might be beneficial in terms of getting cheaper transportation for the needy
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
as everyone can not afford private cars.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is evident that despite spending coins on trains and trams might be helpful for the poor
people
Use synonyms
, my justification convinces that renovation and making streets wider would be beneficial for
rejuvinate
Correct your spelling
rejuvenate
 the
traffic-jams
Correct your spelling
traffic jams
show examples
 are logically acceptable.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
Ensure paragraphs clearly separate different ideas and maintain a logical flow to enhance readability.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments and strengthen your overall case.
language
Revise sentence structure for clarity and correct minor grammatical errors.
content
The essay presents a clear opinion and maintains a consistent viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure development
  • economic growth
  • sustainability
  • carbon footprint
  • traffic congestion
  • public transport
  • accessibility
  • mobility
  • urban planning
  • investment priorities
  • social equity
  • environmental impact
  • emission reduction
  • remote areas
  • transport network
  • feasibility
  • diversified investment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: