Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view

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Many people believe that the government is spending money on the arts which could have been utilized in different sectors. I totally
,
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disagree with the given statement. Since,
art
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is a culture, tradition
which
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reflects the customs and values of particular countries.
Art
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could
consits
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consists
consist
of different aspects
such
Linking Words
as dance, paintings, drama, music, etc.
Art
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also
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contributes
in
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to
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running the nation's economy by inviting foreign tourists from different countries which would eventually create a lot of opportunities
such
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as
job
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jobs
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,
restaurant
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restaurants
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, hotels,
tours guide
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tour guides
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etc. For
an
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instance, the painting of Monalisa is visited by
lot
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a lot
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of tourists every year from all around the world.
On the other hand
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,
art
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helps to enhance the creativity and critical thinking of a human being. It develops human emotional intelligence. A good human emotional intelligence will lead the citizen to behave well and to understand the moral and cultural values which can be preserved for
the
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future generations.
Likewise
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, the
art
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unites people all around the world and creates a sense of harmony which leads the world to be a better place. In conclusion, I believe that
the
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art
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has been conserving
the
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history, culture and tradition
as well as
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developing the feeling of united among people which is a great contribution from
the
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apply
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art
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so, the government should
prioritze
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prioritize
and spend more resources
to
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on
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the
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apply
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art
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and the artists who devote their lives in
this
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field.

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Grammar
Make sure to avoid multiple commas after introductory phrases, such as 'Since' in the first sentence.
Coherence
It’s important to have clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader about what each paragraph will discuss.
Task Response
Try to include a variety of specific examples to illustrate your points more effectively. The example of the Mona Lisa is good, but consider enriching it with additional details or examples.
Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which is essential for clarity and task achievement.
Task Achievement
You successfully discussed both the cultural and economic contributions of art, showing a well-rounded understanding of the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
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