People live longer in some part of the world. What do you think is the reason of this? Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are some countries where people have a longer
life
Use synonyms
expectancy, because of several
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
and ways. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will explain those reasons
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
.
First,
Linking Words
people live longer than the other
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
because of proper diet, they tend to eat only healthy foods like vegetables and fruits. They tried to avoid meats or too much carbohydrates in their meals.
Therefore
Linking Words
, most of them
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a thinner body and much stronger muscles than the others.
Also
Linking Words
, they perform daily exercise as part of their daily habit.
For instance
Linking Words
, simple walking every 30 to 40 minutes in nature can add up to our
life
Use synonyms
span. It reduces the stress and anxiety of the individual.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a good environment is one of the
factor
Change to a plural noun
factors
show examples
too,
surrounds
Wrong verb form
surrounded
show examples
with great and inspiring people can heal the mental health and bring joy in
life
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, living too long is not a good thing for some, they will worried
who
Change preposition
about who
show examples
will take care of them when they get old. They are afraid that their loved ones may turn them down
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and put them in old age
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
. For that
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, everyone in the family members have it's own other priorities.
To conclude
Linking Words
, having a longer or shorter
life
Use synonyms
doesn't matter as long you,
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
and make your
life
Use synonyms
worth living, every
seconds
Change to a singular noun
second
show examples
that we are here in
this
Linking Words
world.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that all points made directly respond to the question. In your introduction, clarify your stance on whether living longer is a good or bad thing.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the structure by clearly separating each idea into distinct paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Use varied sentence structures and check for grammatical accuracy. For example, 'they will worried' should be 'they will worry'.
content
You provide relevant reasons for the longevity of people in certain countries, such as diet and exercise.
content
You express a thoughtful perspective about the implications of living longer, touching on concerns of dependency and family priorities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • longevity
  • lifespan
  • preventive medicine
  • chronic diseases
  • public health initiatives
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • nutrition
  • wellness
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • demographic shift
  • geriatrics
  • social security
  • sustainability
  • overpopulation
  • quality of life
What to do next:
Look at other essays: