In some countries children have very strict rules of behaviour, while in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children have to follow rules? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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this

Linking Words

modern

time

Add a comma

time,

show examples

there are still

countries

Use synonyms

, which

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

got strict

attitiudes

Correct your spelling

attitudes

and

rules

Use synonyms

of behaviour.

Unfortunately

Add a comma

Unfortunately,

show examples

these

attitiudes

Correct your spelling

attitudes

are dreadful,

Correct word choice

and that

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

still exist. Meanwhile,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

most

countries

Use synonyms

of the world have different views, respect and think

children

Use synonyms

are important for the

country

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will

dicuss

Correct your spelling

discuss

both

Change preposition

apply

show examples

views and in the conclusion, I will clearly state my

positon

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position

show examples

this

Linking Words

issue. On the one hand, a category of

countries

Use synonyms

and people have still and maintaining their values,

Linking Words

also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

believe that attitudes are

correctly

Change the word

correct

show examples

furthermore

Linking Words

this

Change the determiner

these

show examples

values are significantly important. So the

children

Use synonyms

are obliged to do and follow all

Linking Words

this

Change the determiner

these

show examples

rules

Use synonyms

. Exactly, what

rules

Use synonyms

could be

they are

Correct your spelling

there

show examples

I do not know, but if there is

thing

Add an article

the thing

a thing

show examples

which is strict for

children

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

is dreadful for me.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, a category of people and

countries

Use synonyms

are admire

Change the verb form

are admired

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

children

Use synonyms

and opposed to

have

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having

show examples

strict

rules

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

in my

country

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, as I know,

here

Correct your spelling

there

show examples

Change the verb form

are

show examples

not any strict

rules

Use synonyms

. I believe

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the

govenment

Correct your spelling

government

must protect their

cityzens

Correct your spelling

citizens

and try to give more

comfotable

Correct your spelling

comfortable

rules

Use synonyms

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

as adults. I think

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

family

Add an article

the family

a family

show examples

must have

firmly

Rephrase

a firm

show examples

attitude and make sure their

children

Use synonyms

have

Verb problem

are

show examples

raised

Change preposition

show examples

the right way.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, any child in the world

are not deserve

Change the verb form

does not deserve

show examples

to have any kind of strict

rules

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, from my point of

view

Add a comma

view,

show examples

the

children

Use synonyms

are most

valueable

Correct your spelling

valuable

what

Correct word choice

that

show examples

people or

countries

Use synonyms

have got, because when they become adults could be become

president

Correct article usage

the president

show examples

of the

country

Use synonyms

or have any kind of duty for their

country

Use synonyms

and

this

Linking Words

significantly important to be raised

appropriatly

Correct your spelling

appropriately

. I believe,

those

Correct word choice

that those

show examples

countries

Use synonyms

who

has got

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

strict

rules

Use synonyms

of behaviour,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will change their

rules

Use synonyms

. Because of the person, one time they will have

right

Add an article

the right

show examples

person in the government and change attitudes.

gio.gvinashvili.100Fri Mar 07 2025

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introduction

Your introduction presents the topic well, but consider rephrasing to clarify your stance more explicitly. Instead of stating you'll conclude your position, you could preview your main points.

coherence

Try to organize your paragraphs more clearly. Each paragraph should primarily cover one main idea to enhance logical flow. For instance, your first body paragraph could focus solely on the strict rules and their implications, while the second could explore the benefits of a more relaxed approach.

cohesion

Some sentences are unclear due to grammatical errors or awkward phrasing. Proofreading your work or reading it aloud may help identify areas that need simplification or clearer expression.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. You mentioned your country but didn't provide specific instances or evidence that illustrate your points about children’s rights or behavioral expectations.

strength

Your essay acknowledges both sides of the argument, which is a great way to show a balanced perspective on the topic.

strength

You've addressed the importance of children’s upbringing and government roles, which is relevant and thought-provoking.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

upbringing
discipline
autonomy
safety
responsibility
creativity
critical thinking
independence
boundaries
rebellion
holistic development
structure
nurturing environment
behavioral expectations
social norms
authority
decision-making skills
consequences
respect

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In some countries children have very strict rules of behaviour, while in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children have to follow rules? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In today's world people spend a lot of money on appearence. Why does this happen? Is it a positive or negative development.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of the internet?

In the interest of road safety, cyclists should be required to pass a test before they are allowed on public roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e.g literatures), boys tend to choose science subjects (e.g physics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed? Do you agree or disagree?