Too much emphasis is given to education on the young. More government money should be spent on the free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, it has been a common belief that education is of indispensable importance to young people.

However

Linking Words

, spending time on entertainment

activities

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

shouldn’t be underestimated. The following essay will clarify and shed light on these viewpoints. On the one hand, education provides a variety of positive sides that extend far beyond mere academic knowledge. First of all, it equips student with essential skills and comprehensive knowledge, preparing them for their future employment by enhancing qualifications and adaptability in a competitive job market. What’s more, schooling fosters critical thinking, enabling one to

analyze

Use the right word

analyse

show examples

complex situations and make informed decisions- a vital skill in both professional and personal contexts. It promotes personal development by encouraging self-discovery and the cultivation of values and ethics.

In addition

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, training plays a crucial role in shaping career paths, allowing individuals to explore various fields and find their true passions. Ultimately, a well-rounded education empowers individuals to contribute positively to society, fostering informed, responsible citizens who can drive change and innovation within their communities.

On the other hand

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, it is essential to recognise that individuals ought to acknowledge the benefits of leisure

activities

Use synonyms

, which shouldn’t be underestimated. It is not just about physical health but

also

Linking Words

about enhancing mental health.

Firstly

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, governments should invest in sports

activities

Use synonyms

and entertainment options to encourage young students to develop social skills, teamwork, and creativity. To illustrate

this

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point, I would like to mention that playing sports can build useful skills

such

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as discipline, time management, and resilience. More importantly, they may provide a necessary outlet for stress or study burdens.

In addition

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, teenagers can enhance their creativity through art or social

activities

Use synonyms

. Ultimately, well-rounded outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

empower us to contribute positively to humanity. In conclusion, to have a potential youth for the country, I strongly believe that it must not only invest in a knowledge foundation but

also

Linking Words

offer them an outdoor recreational environment and encourage them to engage in physical

activities

Use synonyms

quynhtranhbh

Mar 7, 2025

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task achievement

Make your main points clearer and support them with more specific examples.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words to improve the flow between ideas.

task achievement

Clarify the conclusion to restate the main arguments.

task achievement

You provide a good balance between discussing education and leisure activities.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction sets the stage for the essay well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

overemphasis
burnout
well-being
mental health
social inclusion
non-academic skills
recreational facilities
antisocial behaviors
extracurricular activities
diverse interests
personal growth
real-world skills
intellectual society
undue stress
teamwork
societal development

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Too much emphasis is given to education on the young. More government money should be spent on the free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages? Transactions are trackable convenient if no cash available

In many cities, planners organize shops, schools, offices and homes into specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that machine translation is highly developed in today's society. Therefore, it is not necessary for students to learn a foreign language. What's your opinion?

Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?