IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Should women receive lighter sentences than man for the same crime?

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Should women receive lighter sentences than
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
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 for the same crime? Some people believe that women should get lighter sentences than men for the same crime. They argue that women are often in different situations ,
such
Linking Words
a
Correct your spelling
as
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 being a single mother. But
this
Linking Words
 essay
disagree
Change the verb form
disagrees
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 because the law should be equal for everyone.
Firstly
Linking Words
 justice should be based on fairness. If a woman and
man
Correct article usage
a man
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 did the same crime,they both broke the law in
thr
Correct your spelling
the
 same way.
Secondly
Linking Words
, circumstances should apply the both genders.
Instead
Linking Words
 of focusing on gender And
conclusion
Add an article
the conclusion
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, the legal system must ensure equal treatment
Correct your spelling
for
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far
Correct your spelling
for
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 all persons , promoting the true justice

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task achievement
Expand your introduction to clearly outline your main argument and the points you will discuss. A clearer thesis statement would strengthen your position.
task achievement
Ensure your points are developed further. For instance, explain why fairness is essential in sentencing and how circumstances impact justice.
task achievement
Provide examples or anecdotes to support your arguments and make them more relatable and persuasive. This adds depth to your points.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the flow of your ideas by using linking words and phrases. This will help in guiding the reader through your argument more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Review grammar and punctuation to make your writing clearer and more professional. For instance, check spacing and use of commas in your sentences.
content
The essay addresses an important social issue regarding gender and justice.
task achievement
Your position is clear, stating that the law should be equal for everyone.
coherence and cohesion
Some attempt to provide reasons for your viewpoint, which is a good start toward argument development.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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