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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this became a positive or negative development?

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In today's world,
technology
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 has significantly changed the way
people
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 interact with one another. The rise of smartphones, social media, and other online platforms has altered the nature of
relationships
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, both in positive and negative ways. One of the main effects of
technology
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 on
relationships
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 is the ability to stay connected regardless of physical distance.
People
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 can now communicate with friends and family across the world in
real time
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real-time
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 through social media, video calls, and instant messaging.
This
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 has made it easier to maintain long-distance friendships and family ties.
For example
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, platforms like Facebook, WhatsApp, and Zoom allow individuals to share moments and stay in touch without needing to meet in person.
However
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,
this
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 increased reliance on
technology
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 has
also
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 led to some negative effects. Many
people
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 now prefer online interactions over face-to-face communication, which can result in a lack of deeper connections.
For instance
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, teenagers today often communicate through texting or social media, rather than engaging in face-to-face conversations, which can lead to misunderstandings or superficial
relationships
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.
Additionally
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,
people
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 can spend hours on their phones, which can reduce the quality
time
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of time
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 spent with those physically present. In conclusion,
technology
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 has had a profound effect on the way
people
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 form
relationships
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.
While
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 it has made communication easier, it has
also
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 led to challenges in building deep, meaningful connections.

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coherence and cohesion
To improve the logical structure, consider adding clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that summarize the main point. This will guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
Ensure that your conclusion restates the main ideas more explicitly and considers the implications of the arguments presented. This can help solidify your argument and present a strong final point.
task achievement
While you provided specific examples, consider expanding on them or introducing additional examples to strengthen your arguments. More diverse examples can enhance your task response and demonstrate a broader understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You effectively outlined both the positive and negative effects of technology on relationships, which shows a balanced view of the topic. This is an excellent approach to addressing the question comprehensively.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly states the main focus of the essay, and the conclusion summarizes the main points well, providing a clear end to the discussion.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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