IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time. Write a letter to your boss. In your letter •explain why you want to reduce your working hours •say which hours you would like to work •describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer

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Dear Sir/Madam, I am currently working as a full-time employee in your company but from next month I would like to reduce my hours of
work
Use synonyms
, the reason behind
this
Linking Words
 is I am joining one part-time study
course
Use synonyms
. I just joined a Management and
Finance
Use synonyms
course
Use synonyms
 through an online educational institute, so from next month
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 want to reduce my days of
work
Use synonyms
 and hours so I can focus on my study,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will get
good
Add an article
a good
the good
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score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
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 and
i
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I
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 will improve my knowledge of management and
finance
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. I would like to reduce my Monday to Thursday availability and Will continue to
work
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 on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday
,
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apply
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 because
i
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I
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 do not have my classes on weekends so
i
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I
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 can do
work
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 easily without any pressure
and
Correct word choice
apply
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on my other days
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 can
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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study properly. I am
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
 thinking that if
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will
Verb problem
apply
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complete
this
Linking Words
course
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 with enough knowledge of management and
finance
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, our company
also
Linking Words
 will get some benefit from that because
currently
Add a comma
currently,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 am only doing computer-based
work
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 as
a
Change the article
an
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 accountant with you but after
that
Add a comma
that,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will able
manage
Fix the infinitive
to manage
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finance
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 and
i
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I
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 am sure
i
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I
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 will get proper education through
this
Linking Words
course
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 about
finance
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. I hope you will consider my request to reduce my hours and you will give me
answer
Add an article
an answer
the answer
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 as soon as possible. Yours Faithfully.

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general
Make sure to proofread for grammatical errors and typos (e.g., 'aslo' should be 'also').
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow by ensuring each paragraph has a clear focus. For example, separate your reasons for reducing hours and the benefits to the employer into distinct paragraphs.
task achievement
Use a more formal tone in your request, especially in the closing. Instead of 'you will give me answer', consider saying 'I look forward to your response'.
task achievement
You clearly stated your intention to reduce working hours and the reason for this decision, which is important for task achievement.
task achievement
You explained how your studies would be beneficial to the company, showing an understanding of mutual benefit.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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