During the 20th century, contact between different parts of the world developed rapidly due to air travel and telecommunications. To what extent do you think that societies benefit from the increased contact and closer relationships with foreigners brought about by international tourism and business?

In the modern era, the rapid development of air travel and telecommunications has significantly improved international contact.

As a result

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, people around the world are now more connected than ever before, largely

due to

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tourism

Use synonyms

and international business. In my view,

this

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increased interaction brings more advantages than disadvantages to societies across the globe. One of the most notable benefits is the economic growth that comes from global business partnerships and

tourism

Use synonyms

. Foreign investment creates new job opportunities and helps improve local industries.

For example

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, many developing countries have experienced a boost in their economies thanks to multinational companies setting up branches or factories.

Similarly

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, international

tourism

Use synonyms

brings a steady flow of income to regions with natural or cultural attractions, which supports local businesses and helps improve infrastructure.

In addition

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to economic benefits, cultural exchange is another major advantage. When people from different countries meet, they gain a better understanding of each other’s traditions, values, and lifestyles.

This

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promotes tolerance, reduces prejudice, and strengthens international cooperation.

For instance

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, cultural festivals, student exchange programs, and international conferences are excellent ways to build bridges between nations and create a sense of global community.

However

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, there are

also

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potential downsides. Increased

tourism

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, if not managed well, can lead to environmental degradation and overuse of natural resources.

Moreover

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, small local businesses might struggle to compete with larger international companies. There is

also

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a risk of cultural dilution if foreign influence becomes too dominant in certain societies.

Nonetheless

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, these issues can be addressed with effective regulation and a focus on sustainable development. In conclusion, despite a few challenges, the benefits of closer international relationships through

tourism

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and global business far outweigh the drawbacks. They contribute not only to economic prosperity but

also

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to mutual understanding and peaceful coexistence between nations.

htom7836

Jun 29, 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Ensure each paragraph clearly focuses on one main idea, and strengthen the links between ideas.

task achievement

Make sure to address counterarguments more thoroughly to enhance your response's depth.

task achievement

The introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines the topic well.

task achievement

Examples provided effectively support your main points, making your argument stronger.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

295 words

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