IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no b longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Advertisemnets
Correct your spelling
Advertisements
 are the most traditional method to persuade
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
customers
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 to attract to purchase
products
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 and it is often considered the most effective
Correct word choice
and sucessfull
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sucessfull
Correct your spelling
successful
 way by
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the business
a business
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business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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.
However
Linking Words
, some argue that
advertisements
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loss
Replace the word
lose
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 their appeal
due to
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 overuse leading to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of attention by
consumers
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. I believe
advertisements
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 are still relevant for promoting
products
Use synonyms
 if they are designed strategically. Every year companies spend
significant
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a significant
show examples
 amount of
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 budget on
advertisements
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 as they highly influential on
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consumers
Change noun form
consumers'
consumer's
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choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
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. Corporate houses often use persuasive techniques
such
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 as celebrity endorsements and emotional stories so that clients tend to relate the
products
Use synonyms
in
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to
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 their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 boosting
the
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apply
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sales.
For example
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, during
Add an article
the world
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world cup
Correct your spelling
World Cup
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 2010 Addidas released
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
advertisements
an advertisement
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advertisements
Use synonyms
 focussing on diversity as it was the first time
world cup
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World Cup
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 football
staged
Add a missing verb
was staged
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 in Africa which increased their sales
more
Change preposition
by more
show examples
 than 20%. The story touched the audience and gained popularity among young people.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, every day thousands of
advertisedments
Correct your spelling
advertisements
have been
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are
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 released which makes
customers
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 overwhelmed with the information
often
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and often
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ignoring
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ignore
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 it. Most of the
advertisements
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 follow
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
similiar
Correct your spelling
similar
 pattern and
consumers
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 do not feel engaged with them. A recent research by Wall Street Journal showed that 50% of
internert
Correct your spelling
Internet
 users ad blockers considering they are irrelevant.
Furthermore
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, a study by Boston
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 among online
consumers
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 demonstrated that 70%
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customers
Change preposition
of customers
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 never relied on
advertisements
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while
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 purchasing
rather
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but rather
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 put more trust
on
Change preposition
in
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 ratings and reviews. In conclusion,
while
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advertisemnets
Correct your spelling
advertisements
 are often ignored they have potential when they are customised
with
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to
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 the
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customers
Change noun form
customer's
customers'
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need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
. Companies need to adapt
with
Change preposition
to
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 recent trends of their need using unique
menthods
Correct your spelling
methods
 to engage them with the
products
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.
Therefore
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,
advertisements
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 are still
powerfull
Correct your spelling
powerful
 but companies should be innovative
maintain
Fix the infinitive
to maintain
show examples
 the effectiveness of
advertisements
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Try to provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to set precise expectations for your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your work for spelling and grammatical errors, as these can affect clarity and professionalism.
coherence and cohesion
Consider improving the variety of ideas presented in your paragraphs to make your arguments stronger and more engaging.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, which enhances the overall argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
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