IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centre or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

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In
this
Linking Words
moder
Correct your spelling
modern
 era consumer habits changed to shopping in
malls
Use synonyms
 or large shopping
centre
Fix the agreement mistake
centres
show examples
in
Change preposition
As
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 result many small local business lost their customers leading to close the shops. In my
view
Add a comma
view,
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 it has positive development
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the customers
as well as
Linking Words
 sellers. I firmly believe,
in
Correct word choice
that in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 modernized world
malls
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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can not be avoided
It
Correct pronoun usage
They
show examples
attracts
Correct subject-verb agreement
attract
show examples
 the locals
as well as
Linking Words
 tourists
due to
Linking Words
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 diverse options to explore all their needs. Some people argue that
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 economy will be affected
due to
Linking Words
closure
Correct article usage
the closure
show examples
 of the local shops but
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 same the time
malls
Use synonyms
provided
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
 many job oppurtunity to the locals
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
definetly
Correct your spelling
definitely
boost
Change the verb form
boosts
show examples
 the local economy. Large shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 often have better facilities and services, providing a more comfortable shopping experience. On
negative
Add an article
the negative
show examples
 side,
Use synonyms
malls
Fix the agreement mistake
mall
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 closure of small local shops leads to
loss
Correct article usage
a loss
show examples
 of local character and community feel.Small businesses struggle to compete, leading to
loss
Correct article usage
the loss
show examples
 of entrepreneurship and local economic diversity.Large shopping centres may contribute to traffic congestion and environmental issues
due to
Linking Words
 their location outside of town
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
. In conclusion, even though there are minor disadvantages. They do have more advantages like opening an opportunity for adults to become budding entrepreneurs, allowing them to window shopping and giving them various choices.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I think
this
Linking Words
 is a positive development for society and for shopping centres.

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Task Achievement
While you presented some good points, try to elaborate on each argument to make them more compelling. Adding more detailed examples to support your claims can strengthen your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs are well-structured with clear topic sentences and supporting details. This will improve readability and the logical flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to avoid minor grammatical errors, as these can distract from your message. Proofreading your essay can help catch those issues before submission.
Task Achievement
You addressed the prompt and presented a clear opinion about the development of shopping habits, which is important for Task Achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your points well, reinforcing your opinion, which is a strong aspect of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumer habits
  • retail landscape
  • variety
  • convenience
  • employment opportunities
  • local economy
  • facilities
  • extract
  • community feel
  • entrepreneurship
  • economic diversity
  • traffic congestion
  • environmental issues
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