IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays famous people are photographed by professional photographers everywhere they go. Some people say this is a good thing because the public are interested in their lives. Other people think that photographers are wrong to follow famous people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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These days, famous population get photographed by professional photographers wherever they go. Getting photographed most of the time feels occurred and it is a violation of the community's privacy. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the negative
as well as
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 positive aspects of celebrities being photographed with reasons and examples included. Photographing a famous community is good based on the opinion of some society. They think that they think watching a few videos for someone justifies breaching their privacy and
that is
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 totally wrong.
On the other hand
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, some folk say that it is wrong to photograph the public. It can be wrong for several reasons but the most effective one is nobody wants someone to catch them off guard and take a photo of them. And I think that it is a realistic approach to bring, if we gather folk who agree and justify famous nations getting photographed and ask them if would they accept the situation if the roles were reversed I think they will reject.
To conclude
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, the crowd should be aware of other's privacy think about the bigger picture and put themselves in others' shoes as well before doing or considering any manner.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your opinion, as this will help guide your argument throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between your paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea that supports your argument.
Task Achievement
Use clearer examples to illustrate your points. Specific instances or well-known cases can make your argument stronger and more relatable.
Task Achievement
The essay presents both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the topic and the complexities involved.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Celebrity status
  • Public interest
  • Invasion of privacy
  • Mental health impact
  • Media scrutiny
  • Personal freedom
  • Ethical considerations
  • Public figure
  • Consent
  • Balance
  • Surveillance
  • Unwanted photography
  • Admiration
  • Inspiration
  • Intrusive
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