IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given line graph indicates the percentages of the person aged 65 and over in Japan, Sweden and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 over 6 decades period from 1940 to 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen from the graph that the population aged 65 and over in 3 countries experienced fluctuations throughout the survey period. It is
dear
Correct word choice
true
show examples
 that the Japan was highest and witnessed
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 upward trend,
while
Linking Words
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 too but
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 slower. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Japan’s figures. The
person
Fix the agreement mistake
number of persons
show examples
 aged 65 and over
steady drop
Replace the word
steadily dropped
show examples
from 5 % to 3% from 1940 to 1960. Between 1960
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 1990 the popular aged 65 and more
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintained
show examples
 stability at levels 3%, and grew rapidly around 25% from 3% to 27% from 1990 to 2040. Regarding the data for the USA, the figure of popular aged 65 and more
considerable climb
Replace the word
considerably climbed
show examples
 from 8% to 15% between 1940 to 1980. And it
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
 keep intact from 1980 to 2020. From 2020 to 2040 the population aged 65 and over substantial rise from 14% to 23%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: