IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In the past, most working people had only one job. However, nowadays, more and more people have more than one job at the same time. What are the reasons for this development? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more than one job?

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In today's world, humans are progressing at a fast pace. We have come a long way from learning how to cook to doing scientific inventions. If we look at the present scenario, we find that nowadays, people are becoming more workaholics. Some are doing more than
one
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job
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. There are various reasons behind
this
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.
This
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 essay will discuss the possible reasons and the pros and cons of having more than
one
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job
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.
To begin
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 with, In the past, the
overall
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 price of goods and services was comparatively low. Anybody can survive easily with just labour work or working on daily wages.The competition was low, and so was the economic condition.
However
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, in the current scenario,adults have to compete with a number of other candidates to secure a
job
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 even if it's a low-paying part-time
job
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.
For instance
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, when I was applying for
part-time
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a part-time
show examples
job
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, there were eight more candidates for the same role, and that too, for a very small restaurant which was paid on a minimum basis.Increasing population can be a major cause of
this
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 problem.
In addition
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 to
this
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, with the invention of new technology
such
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 as robots, the risk of getting fired is increasing day by day.
This
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 forces employees to look for a backup plan or to have
job
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 security. There are several pros of having more than
one
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job
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.
Firstly
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, it gives money which gives financial stability. Having two sources of income helps in early retirement. It eliminates poverty.
For example
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, if a person is earning from two jobs, he or she can pay off all the bills and there will be no debt. It
also
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 decreases crime,
such
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 as theft which was done earlier to feed the family.There are several cons associated with
this
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such
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 as overworking. It leads to diseases and health effects in the long term. Working two jobs means spending less time with the family.It creates zero work-life balance.
To conclude
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, there are several factors that force employees to work more than
one
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job
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 including economic conditions and competition.The pros of
this
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 situation are financial stability but it has its own negative effects as well.
Such
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 as having zero work-life balance.

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task achievement
The introduction could more clearly outline the main points that will be discussed in the essay. A brief roadmap can enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
While the essay flows reasonably well, certain transitions between ideas could be strengthened to enhance coherence. Consider using linking phrases for smoother transitions between paragraphs.
task achievement
More specific examples and details would enrich the arguments presented, particularly in the pros and cons section. Perhaps include statistics or studies to justify points about financial stability or health effects.
task achievement
The essay successfully identifies key reasons for the trend of having multiple jobs, and it presents both advantages and disadvantages well.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay, reinforcing the arguments presented.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic stability
  • Multiple income streams
  • Gig economy
  • Freelance work
  • Contract work
  • Professional development
  • Financial security
  • Job market
  • Diversified income
  • Burnout
  • Skill set
  • Networking opportunities
  • Work-life balance
  • Mental well-being
  • Time management
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