“some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of preschool age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids”. Discuss both views and give your opinion.owadays

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It is an undeniable fact that most
of
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apply

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guardians claim that daycares and
preschool
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preschools

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are the best places for the growth of their
offsprings
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offspring

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.
However
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, others are opposite of
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

view and they believe that only
grandparents
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are better for their development.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will elaborate
both
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on both

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perspectives in upcoming
paraghraphs
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paragraphs

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. On the one hand, there are
some
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apply

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various factors which can prove
that
Correct word choice
apply

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why parents think preschool are best service for their kids
?
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.

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The first and foremost thing is that there are numerous people who are living in nuclear
faimlies
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families

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due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

trend they do not have their parents with
themselves
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them

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. So,
then
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in
this
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situation, they do not have any option
to
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but to

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leave their youngsters in the preschools which they find good service for them.
Apart from
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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in these schools, they have
well experienced
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well-experienced

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trainers who can take care of kids very well because they know which food is good for them and what type of activities can
sharp
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sharpen

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their
mind
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minds

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.
As a result
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, by considering all these facts, it is true daycares are better for
child's
Correct article usage
a child's

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development.
On the other hand
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, there are some other facts which support
latter
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the latter

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statement. The first thing is that
grandparents
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can be the best teachers for their children because when they spend
whole
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the whole

The noun phrase whole time seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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time with them
then
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they get a chance to know about
lot
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a lot

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of other things
what
Correct word choice
that

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their
grandparents
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are doing in their daily activities.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if
grandparents
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have
particular
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a particular

The noun phrase particular interest seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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interest in reading books
then
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, of
course
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course,

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these
type
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types

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of habits can be seen in the behaviour of one child which is
really
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a really
the really

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very fruitful activity for the young ones. In spite of
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, whatever their
grandparents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are doing in their daily life
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, their kids observe them how they are doing
?
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.

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and they think as well what is the purpose of doing so.
Conquently
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Consequently

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,
grandparents
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play
inevitable
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an inevitable
the inevitable

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role
for
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in

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the upbringing of children. In conclusion,
according to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

me, preschool involvement has its own importance
according to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the
requirement
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requirements

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of parents. But,
grandparents
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can mould the
child
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child's

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growth in
better
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a better

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way because they have life experience and they know very well what is good or wrong for the nourishment of children.

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task achievement
Your essay generally addresses the task and presents both views clearly, but you can enhance your discussion by adding more specific examples and elaborating on your points. Try to ensure that each paragraph clearly relates to the main argument you are making.
coherence and cohesion
There are a few grammatical errors that may disrupt the flow of your writing. Consider reviewing sentence structure and punctuation to improve clarity. Additionally, try to use linking words more effectively to improve the overall flow of your paragraphs.
task achievement
While you conclude your essay by summarizing your views, you could strengthen your conclusion by making it a bit more assertive about which option you prefer and why. This would leave a more lasting impression on the reader.
task achievement
You effectively present both views regarding the childcare debate, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction sets the stage for the discussion and provides a clear outline of what you will discuss.
task achievement
Some points made about the benefits of grandparents as caregivers are thoughtful and show insight into human relationships.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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