IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products? what problem does this cause? what could be done to encourage people to buy local products?

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In today's competitive world,
people
Use synonyms
 become regular consumers of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
large
corporations
Use synonyms
 because of being influenced by exorbitant advertising . Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe,
Correct word choice
that
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big companies
having
Wrong verb form
have
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 a substantial amount of money for ads
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 causing a few problems
such
Linking Words
 as
monolopy
Correct your spelling
monopolies
 in the
market
Use synonyms
 and death of the local or small
businesses
Use synonyms
. I think the
government
Use synonyms
 initiatives and
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 high quality of the
products
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 are two central
factor
Change to a plural noun
factors
show examples
 that can shape
people
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's
interst
Correct your spelling
interest
to buy
Change preposition
in buying
show examples
the local
products
Use synonyms
. Without a doubt, advertising plays an indispensable role in the company's growth and fostering
sales
Use synonyms
 .As large
businesses
Use synonyms
 are spending abundant money on advertising
this
Linking Words
 is leading to
people
Use synonyms
 buying more
Change preposition
of
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their
products
Use synonyms
 ,on the other side,
due to
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 low budgets , the papularity of small companies's
products
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 lesser , leading to low
sales
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 and
turn
Verb problem
a decrease
show examples
 in
closer
Rephrase
the number
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
businesses
Use synonyms
.
This
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 trend can
also
Linking Words
 cause
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
Use synonyms
products's
Change preposition
in products's
show examples
 prices and make them less
afordable
Correct your spelling
affordable
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumers .
For example
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
death of the local and small
businesses
Use synonyms
 may decrease competition in the
market
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 ,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may cause
Add an article
a
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monopoly in the
market
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 ,
Linking Words
Correct word choice
and this
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this
Correct determiner usage
apply
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turn
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
increases
Correct subject-verb agreement
increase
show examples
 the prices of the
products
Use synonyms
.
Although
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 large
corporations
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 are dominating local
comapnies
Correct your spelling
companies
, there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
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tatics
Correct your spelling
tactics
that should be adopted by the
government
Use synonyms
 and
businesses
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. As
Change preposition
apply
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 the lack of awareness of local
products
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 is leading to less
sales
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, the
government
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 should subsidies or broadcast the ads
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
local's
Change noun form
local
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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on public channels by charging
lower
Correct word choice
less
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 money.
This
Linking Words
 could result in , affordable advertising and
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
 for the local
products
Use synonyms
 .
In addition
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, as small
corporations
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 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
low budgets , they should be more focused on
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
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 of the
products
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 as it can
motivates
Wrong verb form
motivate
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to buy
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 more frequently .
For example
Linking Words
, if a product which is well
design
Replace the word
designed
show examples
 and effective can generate organic growth through
word-of- mouth
Correct your spelling
word-of-mouth
show examples
 and repeat
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
. High -quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
products
Use synonyms
 often lead to customer satisfaction , which in turn encourages recommendations to others. In conclusion,
while
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 having a
subtantial
Correct your spelling
substantial
budgets
Fix the agreement mistake
budget
show examples
 from large
corporations
Use synonyms
 for commercialization the
products
Use synonyms
 can result in
death
Add an article
the death
show examples
 of local
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 and
monopoly
Correct article usage
a monopoly
show examples
 in the
market
Use synonyms
 .
However
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 can help small
businesses
Use synonyms
 , by subsidising advertising or providing cheaper broadcasting ads through public channels.Moving
further
Linking Words
,Companies should be more focused on
design
Correct article usage
the design
show examples
 and high quality of the
products
Use synonyms
 as it would
motivates
Wrong verb form
motivate
show examples
the consumers to buy
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 more frequently.

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task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the main problems and your thesis statement for the essay.
task achievement
Strengthen your arguments with more specific examples to illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to improve the logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to reduce errors that impede understanding.
task achievement
You have addressed the topic and provided relevant arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • over-reliance
  • disrupts
  • entrepreneurship
  • economic diversity
  • monopolistic
  • financial power
  • homogenization
  • awareness campaigns
  • tax incentives
  • sustainability
  • artisan
  • eco-friendly
  • dominate
  • innovation
  • stifle
  • richness
  • cultures
  • traditions
  • highlighting
  • distinguish
  • superior
What to do next:
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