IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that studying history is important and necessary to understand well, while others believe it is not important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In today's rapidly changing world, reading
the
Correct article usage
apply
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history and
learn
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learning
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 from it has become a significant point of discussion. Many
people
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 have differing opinions on
this
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 matter, with some supporting that we should read more and take the benefits from it
while
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other
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others
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 argue that we should focus on the present with new ideas to solve our
problems
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. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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 I will explore both viewpoints and provide an analysis
for
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of
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 the issue, followed by my personal opinion. Indeed, we need to read and
analysis
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analyse
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the
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apply
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history to understand the roots of our
problems
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, some
people
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 argue. It is hard to get to the bottom of any current issue with no knowledge of what
occur
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occurred
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on
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in
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 the past.
Also
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, you may face challenges that happened and end in the old days and
people
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 deal with it perfectly.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 who advocate for not reading history
have
Verb problem
are
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 supported by
an
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apply
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empirical data in a recent study. The study shows that,
although
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, we are the same
people
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 who lived 1000 years ago,
but
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apply
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our
problems
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 are far different from the
problems
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 that our
ancestor
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ancestors
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 faced.
are
Verb problem
Do
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 they have social media or AI? For that reason, we should not consider
depend
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depending
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 on old books to solve our
problems
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. In conclusion,
while
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 there are valid arguments on both sides, I strongly believe that we should put all our forces
on
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into
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 the present and try to
produse
Correct your spelling
produce
 new
solotions
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solutions
 to our issues. By doing so, we can address the challenges
while
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maximize
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maximizing
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 the benefit

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task achievement
Make sure to elaborate on your points with clearer arguments and explanations. Each viewpoint could be better developed with specific examples or evidence.
coherence and cohesion
Consider improving the logical flow of your essay. Use connecting phrases to link your ideas more clearly and smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to language accuracy. There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases that can be improved for clarity, such as 'the roots of our problems' instead of 'the root of our problems'.
task achievement
You successfully acknowledged both sides of the argument, which is an important aspect of the task.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for your discussion, making your intention clear.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • insights
  • progression
  • values
  • beliefs
  • heritage
  • identity
  • applicable
  • biased
  • subjective
  • practical
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