IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people think that the government should spend more money on providing faster and cheaper means of public transport. Some others think that there are other important factors to take into consideration like (petrol, cost and environment). Discuss both views and give your opinion?

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Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that the
government
Use synonyms
 should
expense
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 more money on providing public transport which
faster
Add a missing verb
is faster
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 and cheaper. Other
opinion
Change the wording
opinions
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 describe that there are other important factors to take into consideration like (petrol, cost, and
environment
Use synonyms
). In my perspective,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
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 ought to help their
people
Use synonyms
 to get affordable
transportation
Use synonyms
 that
consider
Change the verb form
considers
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about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 aspects. Renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 vehicles might be
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 solution that
cover
Change the verb form
covers
show examples
 all of
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people
Add an article
the people
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 and
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environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 parameters. On the one hand, as
people
Use synonyms
 keep
growth
Replace the word
growing
show examples
continuosly
Correct your spelling
continuously
,
transportation
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become
Change the verb form
becomes
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 crucial to support
human's
Change noun form
human
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 activities. Aligning with
that
Correct determiner usage
those
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 needs,
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government
Add an article
the government
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 should
serve
Verb problem
provide
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 public transport which could reach all the
people
Use synonyms
 in a
country
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, the society in a
development
Replace the word
developed
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country
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 used to drive their private
transportation
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 either car or bicycle. The support from
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Government
Correct article usage
the Government
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 in
this
Linking Words
country
Use synonyms
 should match with their
people
Use synonyms
's behaviour as simple as subsidy the fuel for their vehicles.
However
Linking Words
, it could be
a
Change the article
apply
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bad if the aid from
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 merely
focus
Change the verb form
focuses
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to
Change preposition
on
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current
Correct article usage
the current
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condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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 without planning
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
good strategies for the future.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 fuel consumption by their
people
Use synonyms
 would be
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
dangerous for
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 because a lot of
carbons
Fix the agreement mistake
carbon
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 would be produced by it.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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 as a regulator of the
country
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 must develop
an
Correct your spelling
and
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improvement
Replace the word
improve
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about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
helps
Change the wording
help
bits of help
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
received by the folks. They have to consider the
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 effects that would affect their future.
For instance
Linking Words
, as technology
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
advance
Wrong verb form
advanced
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, one of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
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 is to use
a vehicles
Correct the article-noun agreement
vehicles
a vehicle
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 with renewable
energy
Use synonyms
.
These figure
Change the determiner
This figure
These figures
show examples
 would not only help
a
Remove the article
apply
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society but
also
Linking Words
 save our world against pollution. Using sustainable
energy
Use synonyms
 could make
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
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 safer and influence
people
Use synonyms
's
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
 better. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 ought to support their society to get affordable
transportation
Use synonyms
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
also
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to align it with
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 aspects. Renewable
energy
Use synonyms
transportation
Use synonyms
 might give more advantages for
people
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 in the future.

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task achievement
Make sure the introduction clearly outlines what you will discuss. It can also include a brief statement about your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence and cohesion
There are some grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing; working on your sentence structure can greatly improve clarity.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion on the topic, showing awareness of environmental concerns.
coherence and cohesion
You provide a balanced discussion of both views, which is important for achieving a higher band score.
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