IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that developed countries have higher responsibilities to climate change than developing countries. others believe countries should have the same responsibilities towards protecting the environment . discuss both sides and give your opinion

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The responsibility for
climate
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change
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 has advanced
countries
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 or developing
countries
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. I believe that
climate
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change
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 responsibility has the developed
countries
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 more than the other for many reasons. In
this
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 essay, I am going to discuss which side has more
impact
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in
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on
show examples
climate
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 and give my opinion. On the one hand, How advanced
countries
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 make a huge
impact
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 on the
climate
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. They made a lot of pollution to be advanced
countries
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. They invented many products and created new sciences which made
climate
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 worse recently,
Moreover
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, The main
impact
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 comes from factories, It is the main factor in
climate
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change
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. Their trend economy is getting higher,
Therefore
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, They have to be responsible for
climate
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change
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. In fact, China is used to making pollution because of their factories,
However
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, nowadays the Chinese government is making solutions for the
climate
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. And They donate the amount of their profit to
climate
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.
On the other hand
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. The poor
countries
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 do not have many factories,
Therefore
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, They do not make any
impact
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 on the
climate
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,
on the contrary
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, developing
countries
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 help the planet by saving the environment and they plant millions of trees every year,
Therefore
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, They should not have any responsibility for
climate
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change
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.
for instance
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, Thailand saves the environment
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also
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apply
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grows nature and cleans the river,
Besides
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, They plant many kinds of trees. The poor
countries
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 always try to help the
climate
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albet
Correct your spelling
albeit
 they are not responsible. In conclusion. I would argue that advanced
countries
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 should find solutions to help the planet.
In contrast
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, The poor
countries
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 do not have any
impact
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 on the planet,
Therefore
Linking Words
, They are not responsible.

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task achievement
The introduction should clearly present the two contrasting views about climate change responsibilities. Try to include a clearer thesis statement indicating the discussion points of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas flow logically. Consider using more linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and data to support your points. For instance, when mentioning China's improvements, more detailed context about the initiatives could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You present a relevant opinion on climate change responsibilities, which is an essential part of the task.
coherence and cohesion
You've attempted to present both sides of the argument, which is commendable and aligns with the essay prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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