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Writing Samples
Band 5

Smacking children is the best form of discipline.To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

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Some people think physical
punishment
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 is the most efficient
way
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 to teach
children
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discipline
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. Smacking is
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, in particular,
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in particular
Linking Words
 a direct method to convey the standard answer of right or wrong, using physical pain as an alert to keep
children
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 far from
the
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apply
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misbehavior
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misbehaviour
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.
This
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 essay will argue why physical
punishment
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 is never an appropriate form of
discipline
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. On one hand, parents find smacking effective to give their
children
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 immediate lessons about “Carrots and Stick”, which builds the basic knowledge of the law. These adults believe that the pain or even scar left
with
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by
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 smacking helps
children
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 to understand what is the correct
way
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 to live in society. The post-effect of feeling hurt and frightened reminds them to behave in a
way
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 that meets with social
expectation
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expectations
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 in the future.
For instance
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, there are schools famous for their strict
punishment
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 rules to guarantee that the school
children
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 behave well with moral standards. These reasons and practices in education show that slapping on
children
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’s bodies is the best
way
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 to realize
the
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apply
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discipline
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 .
On the other hand
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, people who are against the implementation of physical
punishment
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 argue that there are more negative, long-term impacts than the instant, seemingly great conformance with the
discipline
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. Mental problems
such
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 as insecurity arose from the fear of getting punished physically breaking the trust and feeling little love with families.
Moreover
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, when these slapped
children
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 become adults, they could use
the
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a
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 similar
way
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 to educate the next generation, leading to a vicious cycle
on
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of
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 the lingering scar among generations. These inner scars easily grow into envy, hatred and even violence spread in society, which become the criminal news we see. The subordinate effect of physical
punishment
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 could be the root cause of the tragedies.
This
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 essay argued
that
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apply
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the hidden risks behind applying smacking as a method to teach
children
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discipline
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to discipline
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. In my opinion, there must be a better
way
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 other than physical
punishment
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 to reach the goal of
discipline
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.

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task achievement
Expand on your main arguments with more detailed explanations and examples to strengthen your points.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance your logical flow by using clearer transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide counter-arguments or alternative views to increase the depth of your discussion.
content
Your introduction clearly outlines your position and indicates what the essay will discuss.
content
You offer a well-reasoned argument about the long-term negative impacts of physical punishment.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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