It is becoming increasingly popular to maintain a healthy lifestyle in today’s life. Some people believe that it is a positive aspect of our lives while others are of opposite belief. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that many
people
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starting to live a healthy
lifestyle
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in
daily
Correct pronoun usage
their daily
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lives. It is undeniable that a healthy
lifestyle
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has become an essential part of
life
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. Others consider that it is unnecessary and harmful. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both these points of view and argue in favour of the former. A commonly held belief is that a healthy
lifestyle
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is beneficial for
life
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. As evidence, they point to enhancing their
health
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. Physical activity is an important part of a healthy
lifestyle
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because can keep you fit and it impacts on
health
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.
Furthermore
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, a healthy
lifestyle
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is excellent for time management.
For example
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, sleep is significant for work, but it gives you more energy which you waste in your daily
life
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. Sometimes
people
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do not sleep enough which harms to
health
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. It is explained by the fact that it improves your daily routine and be a disciplined person.
As a result
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, it leads to
health
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in your
life
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.
On the other hand
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,
people
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claim that many individuals do not believe that a healthy
lifestyle
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is useful, but one does not recognize that living an unhealthy
lifestyle
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is dangerous.
For example
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, they may mention eating fast food which makes
people
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overweight.
In addition
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, it is hard for some
people
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and consider it unnecessary. A healthy
lifestyle
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demands more effort to live healthily. The explanation lies in the fact that many individuals are not ready for it and believe that wasting time.
Therefore
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, they face
health
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issues that reduce their
life
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. In conclusion, many
people
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think that negative aspects of our lives.
However
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, I believe that a healthy
lifestyle
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is significant for everyone and the number of
people
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who live healthy
increase
Fix the agreement mistake
increases
show examples
.

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task achievement
The introduction could be clearer. Consider rephrasing to present your argument more directly and avoid ambiguous phrases like 'this essay will discuss'.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph maintains a clear focus and flows logically. Some ideas feel disjointed, particularly in the second paragraph.
task achievement
Strengthen your arguments with more specific examples or data. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your points.
coherence and cohesion
Clarify the conclusion. Summarize your main arguments more effectively and restate your opinion in a decisive manner.
task achievement
You have attempted to cover both views before providing your opinion, which is a good approach for this type of essay.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic, indicating your preference for a healthy lifestyle.
coherence and cohesion
You used a variety of vocabulary, which adds interest to your writing.
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