IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some countries encourage foreign companies to open in their country .Many people think that the government should focous on encoraging local business rather than foreign businesses. To what extent do you agree?

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In
this
Linking Words
 globalized world, several
nations
Use synonyms
 invite international corporations to do business in their country.Some people think that ,
this
Linking Words
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to
ecnomic
Correct your spelling
economic
 prosperity as it can create more jobs .
While
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 others believe, the
government
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 should be more focused on local businesses as it
decrease
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decreases
show examples
 the reliance on other
nations
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 . I partially agree with the statement as both the point of view
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 their own valid reasons which will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs On the one side, allowing international
companies
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 to invest in their countries can contribute to growth in the
economy
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.Multinational
companies
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has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
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 potential to generate high profits and sales as they bring their brand's goodwill with them which not only creates more
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 but
also
Linking Words
 revenue for the
government
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 in the form of taxes.
Moreover
Linking Words
, investments from developed
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nations
Change noun form
nations'
nation's
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businesses
,
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apply
show examples
can bring their latest innovations to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developing
nations
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 , leading to growth in tech industries for that particular nation. On the other side,
although
Linking Words
 there is a chance of more
job
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 opportunities from getting investments
foreign
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in foreign
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 corporations, it can
also
Linking Words
 have a lack of
job
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 security .
For example
Linking Words
, If the
economy
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decline
Change the verb form
declines
show examples
 foreign
companies
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Add a missing verb
are
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more likely to withdraw their investments which may
leading
Change the verb form
lead
be leading
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 to
job
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 losses and can push towards recession.
Linking Words
While local
Correct word choice
Local
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business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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unlikely
Add a missing verb
are unlikely
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 to do that so as they are rooted and more
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
Add an article
a country
the country
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country
Change noun form
country's
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economy
Use synonyms
 which automatically offers
job
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 security to
public
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the public
show examples
. I think
,
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apply
show examples
a balanced tactics
Correct the article-noun agreement
balanced tactics
a balanced tactic
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 should be adopted by the
government
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 to
boosts
Wrong verb form
boost
show examples
Correct article usage
the securily
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securily
Correct your spelling
security
economy
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 and development
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their nation.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
While
Linking Words
multinational
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the multinational
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 corporation has several benefits
such
Linking Words
 as economic prosperity and modern technology ,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 should not
came
Change the verb form
come
show examples
 at the expense of local businesses.
Job
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 security and economic stability can be only provided by local corporations which can not be overlooked.The
government
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 should adopt
balanced
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a balanced
show examples
 approach where a nation can get benefits from International
companies
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 without
execessive
Correct your spelling
excessive
 dependence on them.

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Task Achievement
Improve the clarity of your ideas and arguments by providing more detailed explanations and examples. Each point you make should be backed by specific examples or further elaboration to solidify your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your essay. Use appropriate linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly. This will enhance the coherence and readability of your essay.
General Language Accuracy
Ensure grammatical accuracy in your writing, including subject-verb agreement and correct punctuation. This will improve the overall quality of your language use.
Task Achievement
You provide a balanced view by addressing both sides of the argument, which demonstrates awareness of the complexity of the issue.
Task Achievement
Your essay contains relevant points regarding the benefits and drawbacks of foreign investment and local businesses.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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