IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today, many people do not know their neighbors. Why is this? What can be done about this?

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At present, many do not have any
relation
Replace the word
relationship
show examples
 with their
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
. In
this
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 essay, I will elaborate on the causes of
this
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,
as well as
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, I will present some of my ideas about how it can be improved.
To begin
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 with, nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 are more busy than ever.
For example
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, they spend long hours working, going to the gym and educating
about
Correct pronoun usage
themselves about
show examples
 self-development practices
While
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people
Use synonyms
 keep racing
their
Change preposition
toward their
show examples
 personal goals, they do forget about relationships.
Moreover
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, we do not need additional support as it used to be. After war times, it was essential that all neighbors were helping each
Use synonyms
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
. Namely, they were doing barter trades and sharing information. Currently, if
people
Use synonyms
 want to purchase something they will go to the shop rather than ask
people
Use synonyms
 in their building.
Furthermore
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, any news is
accessable
Correct your spelling
accessible
 online.
People
Use synonyms
 do not only gossip less
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
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 do not talk about the
fakts
Correct your spelling
facts
 from the word.
Nevertheless
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, multiple changes can be made to deal with
this
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 phenomenon.
Firstly
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, we should let
people
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 know when someone new is joining the community.
For instance
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, the management of the building can inform
others
Use synonyms
 through their mailboxes.
Secondly
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, it is essential to create
people
Use synonyms
 opportunities to meet. Namely,
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
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 gatherings that would give an excuse to get to know each
Use synonyms
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
 better.
Last
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 but not least,
indivduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 should take matters into their own hands. If they
will
Verb problem
apply
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take the initiative
incread
Correct your spelling
instead
increased
 of
keep
Verb problem
apply
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waiting for
others
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 to introduce
themselfes
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
 they will significantly increase their chance
to meet
Change preposition
of meeting
show examples
.
To conclude
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, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
 many do not keep in touch with
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
. I believe different ways of living caused
this
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.
However
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, there are solutions
such
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 as creating parties and meetings by the building owners and informing
about
Correct pronoun usage
them about
show examples
 new
people
Use synonyms
 moving to the area.

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task achievement
You introduced your ideas clearly, but ensure that each point directly supports your argument. Develop your points with more detailed examples to solidify your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between your ideas. Transitions could be smoother to guide the reader through your argument. Try to use more linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy and vocabulary. There were a few spelling errors and awkward phrases that could distract the reader. Consider proofreading your work or using simpler vocabulary if unsure about spellings and grammar.
task achievement
Your introduction sets a clear context for the essay and outlines the points you will discuss.
task achievement
You provide a range of suggestions to resolve the problem of neighborly connections, which shows your critical thinking.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • community engagement
  • social isolation
  • neighborhood watch
  • local initiatives
  • virtual interaction
  • privacy concerns
  • resident mobility
  • technological advancements
  • social media influence
  • work-life balance
  • busy personal schedules
  • community events
  • local residents
  • social interaction
  • community ties
What to do next:
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