IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that in the future, environmental problems will mean that we are unable to live on this planet. In order to survive, the human species will need to find another planet that can support life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, many people around the world start
worry
Wrong verb form
worrying
show examples
 about environmental issues that might
made
Change the verb form
make
be made
show examples
 our
planet
Use synonyms
 destroy all forms of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life. With
progress
Add an article
the progress
show examples
 of technology, humans can predict the future of the earth in
more
Add an article
a more
the more
show examples
 precise way than before, one
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
bad sign is
changing
Correct article usage
the changing
show examples
 in climate in recent years.
However
Linking Words
, in my
view
Add a comma
view,
show examples
 there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a lot of solutions
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem. Humans race in recent years have been dealing with many factories that
emits
Change the verb form
emit
show examples
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
 radioactive materials and harmful smoke,
all
Correct word choice
and all
show examples
 of these activities have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 impact on
Use synonyms
planet
Add an article
the planet
show examples
.
if
Capitalize word
If
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people understand the sequences for
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 activities, they will limit most of these works.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is
Correct article usage
the responsibilities
show examples
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all
earth's
Capitalize word
Earth's
show examples
 populations to keep it safe and clean
instead
Linking Words
 of looking for
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
planet
Use synonyms
. Environmental problems can be avoided by
apply
Change the verb form
applying
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
new rules and laws by the government that
banned
Wrong verb form
ban
show examples
 any harmful methods that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
companies used before.
However
Linking Words
, seeking for different home may lead to
loss
Correct article usage
the loss
show examples
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
lot of earth's resources in order to find a suitable place. When considering these
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
show examples
, the government should
take
Verb problem
pay
show examples
 attention
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the costs and
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
 that might lost. The space is too huge and looking for a new inhabitation
seem
Correct subject-verb agreement
seems
show examples
 unreasonable. At the same time, human's abilities for
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 higher
speed
Fix the agreement mistake
speeds
show examples
 are still low and not effective in
compare
Replace the word
comparison
show examples
 to the size of the universe.
To sum up
Linking Words
, our
planet
Use synonyms
 is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
beatifull
Correct your spelling
beautiful
 place, and thinking
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
 changing it
seem
Change the verb form
seems
show examples
 unreasonable. in my opinion, saving our home is better
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 looking for
other
Correct pronoun usage
another
show examples
 one.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Ensure grammatical accuracy and sentence structure for clarity. Consider revising phrases to improve readability, e.g., 'made our planet destroy all forms of life' could be 'that could destroy all forms of life on our planet.'
content
Expand on your ideas with more specific examples. For example, mentioning particular environmental issues or successful initiatives could strengthen your argument.
coherence
Improve transitions between paragraphs and ideas to enhance flow. Consider using linking phrases to connect your thoughts more clearly.
language
Revise sentence fragments and run-on sentences to create a more formal tone, which is essential for academic writing.
content
The essay addresses a relevant and significant topic, showcasing awareness of environmental concerns and potential solutions.
coherence
The structure of the essay is logical, with noticeable introduction and conclusion sections that give an overview of your position on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental degradation
  • sustainable development
  • renewable energy
  • carbon footprint
  • biodiversity loss
  • climate change
  • greenhouse gases
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • habitable planets
  • space colonization
  • terraforming
  • ethical dilemmas
  • resource allocation
  • technological advancements
What to do next:
Look at other essays: