IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is important for children to learn the different between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

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Early childhood is a critical period for moral development. Families have
responsibility
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a responsibility
the responsibility
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 to teach their kids right and wrong behaviors. They should teach them from early
year
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years
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 to make them
a
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apply
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good
people
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 in the future. Personally, I completely agree with the statement. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the importance of teaching babies
a
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apply
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good ethics from the beginning and the benefits of
punishment
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.
To begin
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 with,
children
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 need
some one
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someone
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 to guide them
to
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in
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 the right way. They need
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
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 and
encouragements
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encouragement
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 from their parents. Teaching them a moral is not
easy
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an easy
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 task but
this
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 is our responsibility . The family should start with them from
early
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an early
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 age.
The
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They
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 can follow various strategies and
tachniques
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techniques
.
For instance
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, tell them stories
involved
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involving
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 useful lessons. It is an interesting way to send
message
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messages
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for
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to
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 kids.
In addition
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, young
people
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 should be a good role model for their
children
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. That means they must show their
children
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positive
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the positive
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 side
from
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of
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 their
personality
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personalities
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.
For example
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, respect other
people
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, be honest , kind and so on. Many
people
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 argue that
punishment
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 is a
benefit
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beneficial
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 way to teach their
children
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. I partially agree with them.
Firstly
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, punishments could be positive and negative. I think, if families apply positive
punishment
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, they will be very practical.
For example
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, if
children
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 lie, parents prevent them from television for
on
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one
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 week. In that case, the
punishment
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 is very useful
to teach
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for teaching
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children
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. I am against
any thing
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anything
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 that can harm
children
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 like shooting and hitting.
To sum up
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, schools and families should teach
children
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 ethics to be a successful person. A good moral
make
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makes
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 the society more strong and
safe
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safer
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. Knowing bad and good
behaviors
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behaviours
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 from
early
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an early
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 age became
as
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a
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habits
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habit
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 in their life. They will respect others and all
people
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 will have a good relationship with
eachother
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each other
.

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coherence and cohesion
Introduce clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader better.
task achievement
Consider providing more balanced views, particularly in the discussion of punishment—acknowledge more viewpoints.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs to enhance flow.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position and sets up the discussion well.
task achievement
You have provided relatable examples to illustrate your points, such as storytelling and role modeling.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral development
  • positive reinforcement
  • natural consequences
  • constructive punishment
  • punitive measures
  • psychological effects
  • self-esteem
  • aggression
  • anxiety
  • time-outs
  • loss of privileges
  • logical consequences
  • discipline
  • affection
  • internalize
  • modeling moral behavior
  • collaborative activities
  • ethical dilemmas
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