IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some cities create housing areas by providing taller buildings. Others create housing by building houses on a wider area of land. What solution is better?

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Nowadays, some cities opt for high-rise
buildings
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 to accommodate more residents,
while
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 others expand housing areas horizontally by constructing low-rise
houses
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. Both approaches have their advantages and disadvantages, depending on factors
such
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 as population density, urban planning, and personal preferences. High-rise
buildings
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 are popular among urban dwellers
due to
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 their stunning city views and convenient locations, often in the city
center
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centre
show examples
.
Such
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 housing offers numerous advantages, including proximity to shopping malls, business
centers
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centres
show examples
, and entertainment facilities.
Additionally
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, apartment complexes often provide various amenities,
such
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 as gyms, swimming pools, and security services, making them an attractive choice for many.
However
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, high-rise living
also
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 comes with drawbacks. The risk of earthquakes and fires can be more severe in tall
buildings
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, and limited emergency exits may pose safety concerns.
Furthermore
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, living in an apartment means following strict building regulations and dealing with potential noise from
neighbors
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neighbours
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, low-rise
buildings
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 and detached
houses
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 provide a safer and more comfortable living environment. In my opinion, private
houses
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 offer greater convenience, as they allow people to have their own space for personal activities,
such
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 as hosting barbecues or gardening.
Additionally
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, homeowners are not restricted by numerous apartment regulations or dependent on noisy
neighbors
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neighbours
show examples
.
Although
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 these
houses
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 are often located on the outskirts of the city, various transportation options,
such
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 as public transport, taxis, and private cars, make commuting manageable.
To sum up
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, both types of housing have their benefits.
However
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, I believe that detached
houses
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 are a better option for those seeking safety, personal freedom, and a more relaxed lifestyle.
While
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 high-rise
buildings
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 offer convenience, the comfort and independence of a private home make it a more desirable choice for many people.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and the two approaches to housing. However, you could strengthen your thesis statement by more explicitly stating your opinion on which option is better right from the beginning.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your body paragraphs are well-structured and cover both sides of the argument, which is great for coherence. To improve further, consider adding transition phrases to guide the reader more smoothly from one idea to the next.
Task Achievement
You provide some good examples and reasoning, but additional specific examples could enhance your argument. For instance, mention a specific city that successfully employs one of the housing types and its outcomes.
Content
You present a balanced view of both high-rise and low-rise housing, showcasing your ability to discuss different perspectives.
Language
Your writing demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and sentence structures, which helps maintain interest throughout the essay.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban density
  • sustainability
  • public transportation
  • green spaces
  • community connections
  • overcrowding
  • economic implications
  • infrastructure impact
  • maintenance costs
  • carbon footprint
  • compact city
  • habitat destruction
  • greenhouse gas emissions
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