Some people think that people who are over 60 years old should retire and stop working. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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The

last

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few years have seen enormous changes in the way

people

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’s lives are affected by stopping working .

Hence

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a great deal of challenges are faced by teenagers. In my perspective point, I totally agree with

this

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quote that older

people

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Should retire when they arrive 50 years old .In

this

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essay,l will outline the reasons for the phenomenon associated with society and provide relevant examples and insights. Frankly speaking,there are a wide variety of factors that

people

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can still be working or not .First and foremost,the individual’s health .To illustrate more ,older

people

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this

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period need the opportunity to rest and enjoy not only

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but

also

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focus on personal well-being.As a result, they are becoming more healthy without facing any challenges in working.Ergo ,the mental and physical for their citizens is good far away from stress and anxiety.

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, The Omani Educational Association indicated older employees who are working for a long time can suffer less productivity and decrease energy consumption ,so

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target group should retire and take care of themselves.

On the other hand

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for the issue matter, retirement plays a crucial role in employment. we can see many teenagers are jobseekers despite the that, they have high qualifications and experience but they do not have a chance to engage in work.To illustrate more,specifically in Oman numerous young

people

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looking for jobs ,so the best solution retire

people

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who are over 60 years old and replace them with young ones .As a sequence ,the working can provide a sense of fulfilment In conclusion ,I am strongly persuaded that retirement can solve some problems in our society , especially job seekers.

Therefore

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,the government should balance employment with human resources to achieve the purpose and goals of sustainable development.

lailakhalil3Tue Mar 11 2025

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task response

The essay could benefit from a clearer position statement in the introduction that better outlines your argument. Consider restating your main point directly at the end of the introduction.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea. For example, the transition from discussing health to productivity could be improved by emphasizing how these points are directly linked to your main argument.

task response

Try to provide more specific examples or data to support your claims, especially regarding the challenges faced by young job seekers.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to vary your sentence structure to enhance the fluency of your writing. There are some repetitive phrases that could be improved for better flow.

task achievement

You have made a strong effort to address both sides of the argument, which is essential in task response.

coherence and cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your stance on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

291 words

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Some people think that people who are over 60 years old should retire and stop working. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century, and sea levels continue to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this, and what are some possible solutions?

Children have more and more tests and exams to do at school, sometimes starting from the age of five or six, right up until the age of 18. What are the advantages and disadvantages of making children do exam ?

Some people think that children should only read academic books. Others believe that reading books for pleasure is equally important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that the environmental impacts of air transport outweigh its benefits in food importation. To what extent do you agree? Provide reasons for your answer and include relevant examples.