IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays many students have the opportunity to study for part or all of their courses in foreign countries. While studying abroad brings many benefits to individual students, it also has a number of disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree?

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In
contemporary
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the contemporary
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 era, going abroad for education is seen as
trend
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a trend
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. Foreign countries provide numerous opportunities
to
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for
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 pupils to study their part and all of their courses. It comes with many advantages and disadvantages. I do not support
this
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 statement.
To begin
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 with, the first
reason
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 for disagreement is that it helps
people
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 to
being
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be
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 independent. To be precise, when teenagers move to another territory to get
education
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an education
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, they tend to pay their
tution
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tuition
 fees themselves. They
also
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 live separately from their parents and pay rent as well. It helps them to
being
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be
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 responsible for themselves.
Second
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The second
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reason
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 is socializing.
For example
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, in
new
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a new
the new
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 country to person meets new communities and
get
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gets
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chance
Correct article usage
a chance
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 to meet new
group
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groups
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. It helps them to be able to socialize more which leads to help more in future.
Third
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The third
A third
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reason
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 is
in improving
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to improve
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communication
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 skills. To illustrate, when students move to
foreign
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a foreign
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 country, they get to talk to new
people
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 which helps in improving
communication
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 skills. It is
neccessary
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necessary
 to have a good
communication
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 skill because it is needed in every job field.
Fourth
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The fourth
A fourth
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reason
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 is that it
help
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helps
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people
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 in learning
new
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a new
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 language. To
expalin
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explain
 more, when anybody wants to go to
new
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a new
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 place they
had
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have
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 to learn their language.
However
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, the only disadvantage I see is that they get
separate
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separated
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 from families which leads to feeling
lonliness
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loneliness
.
This
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 kind of thing can make
people
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 feel depressed and be bad for
health
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their health
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.
To conclude
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, there are more benefits
as
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such as
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communication
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skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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, new language learning and socializing. There are some disadvantages but it will be more beneficial for young
people
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 as they can be independent.

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structural
Ensure that your argument is clearly presented in the introduction. It would help to rephrase the statement you disagree with for clarity.
content
Develop your ideas further, providing more detailed examples to support your claims, especially regarding the advantages of studying abroad.
language
Make sure to proofread your work to correct spelling errors such as 'tution' (tuition) and 'lonliness' (loneliness).
style
Use more varied sentence structures to improve the flow of your writing and make it more engaging.
content
You have identified multiple advantages of studying abroad, which shows thoughtful consideration of the topic.
structural
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, reinforcing your overall message.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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