IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Going overseas for university study is an exciting prospect for many people. But while it may offer some advantages, it is probably better to stay home because of the difficulties a student inevitably encounters living and studying in a different culture. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer.

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During
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In
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 recent years, studying abroad after the completion of high school has become a popular trend among the people, and it is believed to bring benefits for the
students
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.
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However
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However,
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 some people argue that studying in our
home
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 country could be a much safer and more convenient option since it does not cause us various
trobles
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troubles
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such
Linking Words
 as cultural shock and study difficulties.
While
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 I accept that going overseas for tertiary education can be a difficult task, I strongly believe that it undeniably can benefit us in terms of appreciating others'
cultures
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 and advancing the qualities of
life
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. Continuing higher education abroad involves making an effort
in understanding
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to understand
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 and
adapting
Wrong verb form
adapt
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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others' beliefs,
cultures
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,
ways
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and ways
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 of completely different living styles and systems of the communities, which are considered to be considerably important for outsiders to accept and follow. When
students
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 can see the values in
unsimiliar
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unfamiliar
similar
 cultural traditions,
customes
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customs
 and beliefs of the new societies, they are more likely to gain a sense of appreciation of both themselves and other's
cultures
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. It will eventually prepare them to become global individuals with a stronger understanding of the world, who can be able to value every detailed difference of each person. Getting a better quality of
life
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 is one of the benefits of
students
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 studying overseas which requires taking
a
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on a
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huge amount of responsibilities
of
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apply
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ourselves
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apply
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,
such
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 as managing
own
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our own
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finance
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finances
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 and doing
housechorea
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house
 on our own. When no reliance on anybody is needed, it is only the
students
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 who have to manage their own financial
securiy
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security
, hall and internet
bill
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bills
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, and studying, meal and daily plans, which are the duties they rarely did
while
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 living in their parent's
home
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. By completing
such
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 tasks daily, weekly and annually, they potentially become mature individuals who possess better
life
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 experiences.
For example
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, a student with daily duties of
manaing
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managing
manning
 the time between his study and cooking can undoubtedly perform well in
life
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 than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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one who stays at
home
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 under the support of his guardians. In conclusion,
while
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 continuing
further
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 studies abroad rather than staying at
home
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 seems to be
an
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a
show examples
 challenging option, it is much more likely to offer many merits regarding
with
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apply
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appreciation of
other's
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other
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cultures
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 and developing the qualities of
life
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. It can prepare the
students
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 to become responsible and
flexiable
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flexible
 individuals.

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coherence and cohesion
Work on creating clearer topic sentences that help the reader understand the main idea of each paragraph right away. This will enhance logical structure.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more varied connectors and transitions to improve cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Ensure that you clearly define all terms and concepts, especially in your introduction, to avoid confusion and improve clarity.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your claims. Real-life scenarios or data can help clarify your arguments and demonstrate your points more effectively.
task achievement
You present a balanced view by acknowledging the challenges of studying abroad, which shows thoughtfulness in your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is essential for a well-structured response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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