IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart displays some data about how the bourgeois spent their weekly
salary
Use synonyms
 on
food
Use synonyms
, housing, fuel and power, clothing and footwear, and four other categories in 1968 and in 2018; measured in percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
although
Linking Words
 the majority of the public’s money was spent on
food
Use synonyms
 in 1968, people spent the highest proportion of their income on leisure in 2018. Individuals spent over 5 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of their
salary
Use synonyms
 on fuel and power in 1968;
however
Linking Words
, under 5 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of their weekly income was spent on fuel and power.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, families spent 10 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of their
salary
Use synonyms
 on housing in 1968
while
Linking Words
 the amount of money spent on
food
Use synonyms
 was three times more in the same year.
In addition
Linking Words
, roughly 20 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of people’s
salary
Use synonyms
 was spent on housing and
food
Use synonyms
, and precisely 5 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of folk’s income was spent on clothing and footwear in 1968.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 number for clothing and footwear doubled in 2018. Approximately 7 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of the public’s weekly outcome was spent on household goods in both 1968 and 2018. The highest amount of the society’s money was spent on leisure in 2018, which was over 20 per
cent
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 number was less than 15 per
cent
Use synonyms
 for transport and around 5 per
cent
Use synonyms
 for personal goods in 2018.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the proportion of
salary
Use synonyms
 spent on personal goods, transport, and leisure was almost the same and around 10 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 1968.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words salary, food, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compare
  • spending patterns
  • allocated
  • weekly income
  • significant changes
  • essential items
  • food
  • housing
  • clothing
  • leisure
  • communication
  • increase
  • decrease
  • twofold rise
  • substantial increase
  • quadrupling
  • declined
  • food and drink
  • slight increase
  • prioritizing
  • necessities
  • transitioned
  • portio
  • non-essential items
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