IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

4-The line graph below shows radio and television audiences throughout the day in 1992. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

4-The line graph below shows radio and television audiences throughout the day in 1992. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph depicts the patterns of how the
audience
Use synonyms
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 used to watch television or listen to the
radio
Use synonyms
 at different times of the day, during the year 1992.
Overall
Linking Words
, television seems to have been a more popular medium of entertainment for the
audience
Use synonyms
 during the evening and the night as opposed to
radio
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was more popular during the day, especially in the morning. Between the hours of 1am to 6am, less than around 5% of
people
Use synonyms
 were watching the
TV
Use synonyms
 or listening to the
radio
Use synonyms
. At 6am
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
, however
show examples
, the amount of
people
Use synonyms
 listening to the
radio
Use synonyms
begin
Correct subject-verb agreement
begins
show examples
 to rise drastically. The figure peaked at just over 25% at around 8am. During
this
Linking Words
 time
period
Add a comma
period,
show examples
TV
Use synonyms
 viewers saw no real large increase in viewers. By 1pm,
people
Use synonyms
 watching
TV
Use synonyms
 rose to 15%, which was the same amount for
people
Use synonyms
 listening to the
radio
Use synonyms
. After
lunch time
Correct your spelling
lunchtime
show examples
,
radio
Use synonyms
 continued to lose
audience
Use synonyms
, whilst
TV
Use synonyms
 watchers
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
 to rise into the evening. From around 3pm
top
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 6pm,
TV
Use synonyms
 quickly increased in
audience
Use synonyms
, peaking at 45% of viewers at around 8-9pm.
Radio
Use synonyms
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
, however
show examples
, had fallen all the way to 5% of listening and plateaued at
this
Linking Words
 amount between 9 and 11pm.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words audience, radio, people, tv, pm with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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