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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below gives information about the number of tourists who visited five different countries between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the number of tourists who visited five different countries between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph gives information about the
number
Use synonyms
 of visitors in
France
Use synonyms
, Egypt, Malaysia,Brazil,and the
USA
Use synonyms
. In the period from 1995 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 Brazil and Egypt reached the same
number
Use synonyms
 of
internationa
Correct your spelling
international
 tourists in 2010 ,
while
Linking Words
 Malaysia and the
USA
Use synonyms
 increased slightly over the period given.
France
Use synonyms
 was in the middle between the countries.
According to
Linking Words
 the data given,
France
Use synonyms
 and the
USA
Use synonyms
 started with a large gap at the beginning of the period ,
France
Use synonyms
 had 30
million
Use synonyms
 travellers, and the
number
Use synonyms
 increased significantly to roughly 85
million
Use synonyms
 in 2010,
while
Linking Words
 the
USA
Use synonyms
 in 1995 began with the highest
number
Use synonyms
 70
million
Use synonyms
 tourist and continued to climb until declining to 80
million
Use synonyms
. Regarding Egypt and Brazil, the rate of visitors in both countries was quite similar, in 1995, around 9
million
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 travellers went to both countries and the trend rose steadily to over 10
million
Use synonyms
 and around 10
million
Use synonyms
 respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, france, usa, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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