IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently.To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience

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It is an irrefutable fact that our
life-style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 has
considrebaly
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considerably
considerable
alterd
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altered
 during recent decades.
Resarch
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Research
 has been established that there is
Correct article usage
a singnificant
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singnificant
Correct your spelling
significant
 surge in jobs in different departments over the period of
time
Use synonyms
. An overwhelming majority of
people
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 unanimously suggest
that
Correct word choice
apply
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choosing
one
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 career and
continuous
Replace the word
continuing
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 to that
one
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job
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where
Correct word choice
whereas
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 some other
people
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are saying
Wrong verb form
say
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 that changing jobs more
ocassionaly
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occasionally
. I am in complete accord with that statement. Below, I endeavour to shed some light on
this
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 viewpoint with
relevent
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relevant
 reasons and
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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examples. On the
one
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 hand, we decide and follow
one
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 path study hard and get success
also
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 with
high-end
Add an article
the high-end
a high-end
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job
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 in
this
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 situation
person
Correct article usage
a person
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 is getting growth in
same
Change the article
the same
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comapny
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company
 with promotions and
alot
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a lot
 to learn in
practical
Correct article usage
a practical
show examples
 field with saticfaction.
For instance
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,
senior
Correct article usage
the senior
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 managing director of Meta company has not
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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changed
since
Change preposition
for
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long
Change the article
a long
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time
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thus
Linking Words
,
this
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persons
Change noun form
person's
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 journey
stared
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started
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 with an
intern
Replace the word
internship
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 with
landup
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land
 to
fulltime
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full-time
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 and
in
Change preposition
after
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 20 years of dedication,
time
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 and
with
Change preposition
apply
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lots of
struggule
Correct your spelling
struggle
 now up to to very satisfying
job
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 but definetly have to give alomost 70-80 hours of
time
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 at
this
Linking Words
 position.
On the other hand
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,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
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 are changing
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 so frequently just because of two main reasons they are not getting
jobs
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the jobs
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what
Correct word choice
that
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 they are looking for they show a little bit of an inculcate attitude and
second
Add an article
the second
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 reason is less paying
jobes
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jobs
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 to so if they get good offer from any other company.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
covid-19
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COVID-19
show examples
people
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 got
layoffed
Verb problem
laid off
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 from every profession or
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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shifted to work from home.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 may not
have been
Wrong verb form
be
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intrest
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interested
 once you start studying but when it comes to
woking
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working
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professionaly
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professionally
professional
 it is so different
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
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 when we study in
this
Linking Words
 case so many
people
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 change their career after
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job
Add an article
the job
a job
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 and follow their hobby. In conclusion, I totally
agree
Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 point if you get
sucessed
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successful
its
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it's
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 well and
good
Change the word
well
show examples
 but when not do give try in any other career. Should
definetly
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definitely
 satisfy you in doing long hours of
job
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly outline your main arguments and maintain a logical flow throughout the essay to improve coherence.
task achievement
Work on grammatical accuracy and spelling errors, as they can distract from the main ideas you're trying to communicate.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support your points, which can help in making your arguments more persuasive.
task achievement
Your essay tackles the topic and presents a clear opinion on the statement.
task achievement
You attempt to include reasons and examples to bolster your argument, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career path
  • job satisfaction
  • professional goals
  • climb the career ladder
  • develop expertise
  • long-term commitment
  • financial security
  • varied experiences
  • prevent monotony
  • job security
  • career progression
  • personal preferences
  • industry dynamics
What to do next:
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