IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is important to people to take risks, Both in Their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outway the disadvantages?

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Taking
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risk
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risks
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 is
the
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apply
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part of everybody's
life
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 . Some
people
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 avoid taking
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risk
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risks
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 as they
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dont
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don't
 want to shuffle their
smooth going
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smooth-going
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life
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. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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i
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I
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 will discuss the merits and demerits of taking
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risk
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risks
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 in their lives
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while
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whether
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 it is professional or personal.
To begin
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 with the pros of
this
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 notion,
people
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 who take chances in their
life
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 get
the
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apply
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success in
life
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 . If
i
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I
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 talk about the personal
life
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people
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of people
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 who go for the lottery they
cant
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can't
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 win if they
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dont
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don't
 take
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risk
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risks
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.
On the other hand
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 in professional
life
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 if they don't opt for
the
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a
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 higher promotion taking
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risk
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risks
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on
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in
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 their current job position
that
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they
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 can't
get
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achieve
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 success in
life
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. To get new things in their
life
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 they have to think out of the box so that they get
promotion
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promotions
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 not only
as
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in
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 their
work place
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workplace
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 but even
also
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 in their
life
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 . We
also
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 get bored from our everyday
going
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apply
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routine of
the
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apply
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life
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 taking different
chance
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chances
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 in
the
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apply
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life
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 gives them
enthusiasm
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the enthusiasm
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 to live
life
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 different way and get rid of boredom. On the other
side
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side,
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 there are cons as well.
People
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dont
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don't
 take
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risk
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risks
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 as they
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dont
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don't
 want to change their
smooth going
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smooth-going
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 lifestyle. Some
people
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 take
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risk
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risks
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 in market speculation which
leds
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leads
 to huge
loss
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losses
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 for them. So taking
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risk
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risks
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not
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does not
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 always prove fruitful for some
peope
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people
.
To conclude
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i
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I
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 will say
advantages
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the advantages
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 do outweigh the disadvantages
fo
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of
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 the given notion as taking
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risk
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risks
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 gives them to grab new opportunities. On
flip
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the flip
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 side taking
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risk
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risks
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 is not everybody's cup of tea as they result in loss.

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task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more comprehensive explanations and examples. For instance, you could elaborate more on the kinds of risks people take and their potential outcomes.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the linking of ideas within paragraphs for smoother transitions. Using phrases such as 'Moreover' or 'In addition' can help with this.
coherence and cohesion
Spelling and grammatical errors should be minimized to enhance clarity. Consider proofreading to correct simple mistakes (e.g., 'leds' should be 'leads').
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly outlines what the essay will discuss, which helps guide the reader.
task achievement
You provided some relevant examples to illustrate your points, particularly the lottery and career advancements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • risk-taking
  • calculated risk
  • entrepreneurship
  • innovation
  • personal growth
  • resilience
  • adaptability
  • challenge
  • failure
  • reward
  • vulnerability
  • challenge aversion
  • opportunity cost
  • decision-making
  • outcome evaluation
What to do next:
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