IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that successful sports teams are always those with the strongest or fittest players. Others think that success depends more on the team’s mental strength. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Whilst some people support that successful sports teams are those with the strongest or fittest players, others believe that
Use synonyms
team's
Correct article usage
a team's
show examples
 mental
Use synonyms
strenght
Correct your spelling
strength
 is the key
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
success
Use synonyms
. Analysing
body
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features
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, the ones who have a good physical capacity usually achieve better results.
However
Linking Words
, mental
Use synonyms
strenght
Correct your spelling
strength
 is
also
Linking Words
 an important characteristic to reach accomplishment. In my opinion, a balance of both views is essential for
success
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. A strong and fitness
body
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 are
features
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 of a successful
team
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 because they are
results
Correct article usage
the results
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 of hard work and dedication. High
perfomance
Correct your spelling
performance
 athletes
such
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 as Michael Jordan, Simone Bayle and Neymar, to name just a few, are
the
Change the article
apply
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proof that physical
appereance
Correct your spelling
appearance
 is just a
reflect
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reflection
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 of big effort over long periods.
According to
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this
Linking Words
,
due to
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 preparation and long hours of practising, the successful sports teams show
an
Correct article usage
apply
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excellent shape.
On the other hand
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, peak physical condition is not the only feature for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success
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. Mental health is an essential topic that
need
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needs
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 to be developed in all sports teams individuals. The necessity of
team
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psychologist
Fix the agreement mistake
psychologists
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 is mainly proven in defeats
,
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apply
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 when the players need to give their best even when they are losing.
Moreover
Linking Words
, mental
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strenght
Correct your spelling
strength
 can lead to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better
comunication
Correct your spelling
communication
, resulting in teamwork and strategic decision-making. In conclusion, a well-conditioned
body
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 and a healthy mind are the secrets
for
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to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success
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.
While
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body
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features
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 can increase the
team
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 performance, a mental
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strenght
Correct your spelling
strength
 is responsible for the
team
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 cohesion.
Finally
Linking Words
, a balance of both
features
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are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the key to
achieve
Wrong verb form
achieving
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 the first place.

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spelling
Make sure to check for spelling errors. For example, 'strenght' should be 'strength', and 'comunication' should be 'communication'.
content
Provide more elaborate explanations for some points made, especially when discussing mental strength.
coherence
Try to use more varied linking words and phrases to enhance coherence between sentences and paragraphs.
content
The essay presents a balanced view of both physical and mental aspects of sports success, which demonstrates good understanding of the topic.
examples
The use of specific examples like Michael Jordan and Neymar enhances the arguments made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • endurance
  • resilience
  • team cohesion
  • mental fortitude
  • superior performance
  • dynamic environments
  • adaptability
  • decision-making
  • intensity and recovery
  • execution of strategies
  • morale
  • focus under pressure
What to do next:
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