Some people think that money one of the most essential factors in promoting hapiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards hapiness? Zhazira

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Certain

people

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opine that the key factor for our satisfaction is

money

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. I agree with the view that

people

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can cheerfully live with less

money

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and some aspects can lead to

happines

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happiness

. I believe that with some

money

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people

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can have their best lives

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apply

show examples

because the work they do and the family with whom they live are valuable factors and can provide satisfaction in their lives.

For example

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, in many countries,

people

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live joyfully with low and middle salaries. The reason is that it is essential for them to be

together with

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their family and have strong health.

Additionally

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, they prioritize meaningful relationships and a balanced lifestyle over material wealth, finding

fulfillment

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fulfilment

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in shared experiences, good health, and a supportive community. In my opinion, one of the chief aspects that lead to

happines

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happiness

is family, since they give us motivation and support. Without family, we feel unsettled and anxious because we are used to having fun and living together.

Therefore

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, they are some of the closest

people

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who bring happiness and smiles to our faces.

For instance

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, some young

people

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, after graduating

are

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apply

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, move to another country to study.

For

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this

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reason, they have to separate from their family and live without them. It is a pity for both sides to take leave.

To sum up

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while

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money

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plays a role in securing basic needs,

people

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can experience happiness when they are surrounded by the well-being of their loved ones and their job brings them joy, even if it offers a lower income.

b_aliya_k89Thu Mar 13 2025

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task achievement

Ensure that your main ideas are clearly supported with specific examples, and try to elaborate more on how these examples relate to happiness without money.

coherence and cohesion

Consider providing clearer connections between your ideas, such as how the relationship between family, health, and happiness evolves throughout your essay.

task achievement

Good introduction that clearly outlines your position on the topic and sets the stage for the essay.

task achievement

Your use of examples from different contexts, such as the mention of low and middle salaries in various countries, enriches your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

10 paragraphs

253 words

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Some people think that money one of the most essential factors in promoting hapiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards hapiness? Zhazira

Fully explain your ideas

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead

Schools should use films, computers and games instead of books. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

some people believe that it's best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money .others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations

In some cities of the world, cars are repalcing bicycles. However, in some other cities, bicycles are replacing cars. What are the reasons for these two developments. In your opinion, which one is better?