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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below gives information about the number of tourists who visited five different countries between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the number of tourists who visited five different countries between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given graph illustrates data about
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of foreigners who visited from
USA
Use synonyms
, France, Malaysia, Brazil and Egypt from 1995 to 2010. It can be notably seen that tourists from the
USA
Use synonyms
 were the biggest figure
while
Linking Words
 Egypt was the lowest number all over the period.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph, the
USA
Use synonyms
 started at 70m in 1995,
this
Linking Words
 figure slightly rose to 90m by 2005,
after
Correct word choice
and after
show examples
, it slightly decreased to around 85m until 2010. France started at 30m in 1995, but interestingly
this
Linking Words
 figure enormously increased to 60m by 2000 after a little fluctuation till 2005 it rose to approximately 85m and equalled with the
USA
Use synonyms
 till 2010. In terms of the lower amount of tourists, Malaysia began at around 21m in 1995,
this
Linking Words
 number slightly rose to 30m by 2005 and
finally
Linking Words
 reached 45m in 2010. Brazil have begun below 10m and fluctuated to below 20m till 2010. Egypt was the lowest visited country over the period and it began at around 8m and slightly increased to 25m until 2010.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words usa, m with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 4 times.
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